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Man severs own penis, throws it at officers
Chicago Sun Times ^ | March 17, 2006 | Eric Herman

Posted on 03/17/2006 6:11:10 AM PST by jdm

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: hatewhenthathappens; lostmypenisagain; ouch; tallywhackertosser; wadlist; wodlist
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To: Fintan

that's a ping list I want to be on...


161 posted on 03/17/2006 10:35:05 AM PST by Conservative4Life (Blaming GUNS for crimes is like Blaming SPOONS for Rosie's morbid obesity....)
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To: usmcobra
"No, you pick it up."

"I ain't touching it."

Too bad they didn't have a police dog with them.

162 posted on 03/17/2006 10:40:16 AM PST by #1CTYankee (That's right, I have no proof. So what of it??)
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To: Sax

Damn, posted my response before I read yours.


163 posted on 03/17/2006 10:43:14 AM PST by #1CTYankee (That's right, I have no proof. So what of it??)
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To: jdm

They're not fooling me!

The Chicago Police Force is collecting penises.

Where's John Kerry on this issue???


164 posted on 03/17/2006 10:48:25 AM PST by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: Excuse_My_Bellicosity
[ He lost his ass last week in a poker game. Some guys just can't catch a break... ]

LoL..

165 posted on 03/17/2006 10:49:46 AM PST by hosepipe (CAUTION: This propaganda is laced with hyperbole..)
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To: everyone

Anyone up for a Kielbasa for lunch?


166 posted on 03/17/2006 10:52:48 AM PST by austinaero
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To: dighton; Fintan

Well, in the movies, the perp always throws the empty gun at the cops.


167 posted on 03/17/2006 10:56:38 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: usmcobra
See the movie 11:14?
168 posted on 03/17/2006 10:57:13 AM PST by robertpaulsen
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To: Larry Lucido

Heads up! Incoming pocket snake!!!!!!!!


169 posted on 03/17/2006 10:57:40 AM PST by Fighting Irish
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To: jdm

Fik is f***ed.


170 posted on 03/17/2006 10:59:53 AM PST by TexasRepublic (North American distributor for Mohammed Urinals. Franchises available.)
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To: jdm

He instantly became a democrat........


171 posted on 03/17/2006 11:01:44 AM PST by stm (You can fix a lot of thing s, but you can't fix stupid)
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To: jdm

Did they charge him with Assault with a Dead Weapon?


172 posted on 03/17/2006 11:03:58 AM PST by Still Thinking (Disregard the law of unintended consequences at your own risk.)
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To: Larry Lucido; Clemenza

“Hey, listen, I want somebody good — and I mean very good — to plant that gun. I don’t want my brother coming out of that toilet with just [well, you know] in his hands.”


173 posted on 03/17/2006 11:04:22 AM PST by dighton
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To: 3rdcanyon; 75thOVI; Abathar; albee; Alice au Wonderland; Amityschild; andie74; Andy'smom; ...

No amateurs, please.
Send FReepmail if you want on/off ISHP list
The List of Ping Lists

174 posted on 03/17/2006 11:04:40 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Fighting Irish

hey , knowing the darkHumor of hospital staff ,...

I betcha the OR had tunes while the reattachment was performed ,...

My Ding a Ling by Chuck Berry for starters


175 posted on 03/17/2006 11:04:56 AM PST by Dad yer funny
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To: C210N
wanna bet that sometime in the future we will hear about a detachment at State expense

Already happened in WA: Sex changes through the state a go again after policy reversal
176 posted on 03/17/2006 11:05:11 AM PST by Sopater (Creatio Ex Nihilo)
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To: beezdotcom
Thanks for the "tip"...

...said the prostitute to the leper. < /rimshot >

177 posted on 03/17/2006 11:07:27 AM PST by Still Thinking (Disregard the law of unintended consequences at your own risk.)
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To: jdm; martin_fierro; Slings and Arrows; Alice au Wonderland; From many - one.

oh, man...

why did they repair the reproductive equipment of a patent lunatic???


178 posted on 03/17/2006 11:08:36 AM PST by King Prout (DOWN with the class-enemies at Google! LONG LIVE THE PEOPLE'S CUBE!)
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To: Still Thinking

I can't believe it took almost 150 posts...


179 posted on 03/17/2006 11:12:50 AM PST by beezdotcom
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To: tom paine 2

Dumb Polak.
How much vodka do you suppose he had?


180 posted on 03/17/2006 11:14:34 AM PST by DesignerChick
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