Replies

1 posted on 02/27/2006 5:31:40 AM PST by Abathar

McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero said the woman who came into the store with the fake penis was actually trying to cheat on a job application drug test.

I don't think she really thought this one through.

2 posted on 02/27/2006 5:34:17 AM PST by Trailerpark Badass

Just when you think you've heard everything...

3 posted on 02/27/2006 5:35:07 AM PST by pikachu (Be alert --we need more lerts!)

To: martin_fierro

5 posted on 02/27/2006 5:36:11 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim

a woman using a fake penis to cheat a drug test. hmm...

7 posted on 02/27/2006 5:38:49 AM PST by camle (Keep your mind open and somebody will fill if full of something for you.)

Paging Mr. Smith. Mr. Onterrio Smith. Please pick up the tan whizzinator and proceed to the application area.

8 posted on 02/27/2006 5:39:01 AM PST by Dahoser (Time to condense the nonsense: Terry Tate for White House spokesman.)

To: Abathar; martin_fierro

Paging Ms. Lorena Bobbit. Ms. Bobbit please meet your party at the microwave counter.

......nevermind.

10 posted on 02/27/2006 5:40:15 AM PST by Delta 21 ( Democrats -- a 40 year war on poverty and still no exit strategy)

To: 3rdcanyon; 75thOVI; albee; Alice au Wonderland; Amityschild; andie74; Andy'smom; annyokie; ...


No amateurs, please. Send FReepmail if you want on/off ISHP list
The List of Ping Lists

Ah, the Whizzinator. Source of so much confusion and pain.

11 posted on 02/27/2006 5:40:19 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)

To: Abathar; Xenalyte; cjshapi; Jersey Republican Biker Chick; Dashing Dasher

Microwaved Penis Turns Out To Be Fake

Best Headline of the Week nominee.

12 posted on 02/27/2006 5:40:46 AM PST by Lazamataz (Islam is a fatal disease that must be eradicated from the body Earth.)

You passed the drug part of the urine test but we're concerned as to why your body temperature is 180 degrees.

13 posted on 02/27/2006 5:41:24 AM PST by Rebelbase (President Bush is a Texas jackass when it comes to Border security .)

To: Abathar; Tijeras_Slim

From another source:

(McKeesport police Chief Joseph) Pero said police weren't sure why the woman was storing the urine in a device mimicking male genitalia.

14 posted on 02/27/2006 5:42:58 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)

Reminds of "Detachable Penis" by King Missile (for some reason)

(Lyrics)

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home
Washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again
Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached
But I don't know
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis

17 posted on 02/27/2006 5:48:48 AM PST by PBRSTREETGANG

I am sure the next we hear about microwaved whizonators will be some woman who bought one 'pre heated' at a drive-thru and got her crotch scalded.

18 posted on 02/27/2006 5:54:24 AM PST by pikachu (Be alert --we need more lerts!)

I'll never look at melted butter the same way again.

If you are going to go to all the trouble of buying a fake penis to beat a drug test, wouldn't you at least warm it up in your own microwave?

19 posted on 02/27/2006 5:57:55 AM PST by Senator Goldwater

I didnt realise drug free urine was in demand, I flushed away about 20 bucks worth this morning when I got up.

20 posted on 02/27/2006 6:00:58 AM PST by sgtbono2002

To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick; najida; PaulaB; EX52D; teenyelliott; peacebaby; Millee; ...

Now, I've heard everything, PING!!!!

21 posted on 02/27/2006 6:04:44 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (I prayed, 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.)

This sounds like something Hillary Clinton could use as a wedge issue....

24 posted on 02/27/2006 6:18:51 AM PST by Brett66 (Where government advances – and it advances relentlessly – freedom is imperiled -Janice Rogers Brown)

I'm no expert on drug test procedure, so can someone explain to me why it matters that you carry your urine in a fake penis? Do employers watch while you go? If so, can't they tell its fake?

25 posted on 02/27/2006 6:19:12 AM PST by dinoparty

She could have kept it at near perfect body temperature if she would have kept it under her armpit, er, or somewhere very warm...

27 posted on 02/27/2006 6:19:56 AM PST by DancesWithBolsheviks (/sarc tag currently in the shop.)

If there's one thing worse than a microwaved penis, it's a microwaved fake penis.

30 posted on 02/27/2006 6:22:23 AM PST by hellinahandcart

One more reason why I don't use the microwave at a convenience store !!!!

33 posted on 02/27/2006 6:23:19 AM PST by Codeograph

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