What an entertaining piece, PD!
It so happens that for awhile now I've done a similar thing- on the other end- I've answered the phones for 3 days (13th, 14th and 15th)for a couple of florist friends- as they were frantically arranging vases and baskets for delivery.
I took orders from men spending $100-$200 on some roses THAT WILL BE DEAD IN 7 DAYS. Here's what I noticed- for the most part these fellows were humorless, impatient and demanding.
After several hours of hearing the same tone from nearly all the men ordering I had an "Aha" moment. They were forced to do this by Hallmark, FTD and Vermont Teddy Bears. Clearly, for the majority of these men- if their girlriend or wife didn't receive these flowers- there would be hell to pay. Some of them even said as much, and grumbled about the whole ordeal.
You have my admiration and respect PD! It's a helluva culture we live in, eh?
My favorite "complaint" call came this afternoon. I answered the phone- the first words out of the woman's mouth were "Why didn't my boyfriend send me roses"?? Honest. That's what she said. I said..well..if you tell me his name and your name- I'll look in our orders to see if there's one there for you. Her reply? "I'm not giving my name to you- you're in some shop I don't even know".
I thanked her for calling and said good-bye.
Still wondering about her hours later...did she go off her meds- or is she taking too many...