What an entertaining piece, PD!
It so happens that for awhile now I've done a similar thing- on the other end- I've answered the phones for 3 days (13th, 14th and 15th)for a couple of florist friends- as they were frantically arranging vases and baskets for delivery.
I took orders from men spending $100-$200 on some roses THAT WILL BE DEAD IN 7 DAYS. Here's what I noticed- for the most part these fellows were humorless, impatient and demanding.
After several hours of hearing the same tone from nearly all the men ordering I had an "Aha" moment. They were forced to do this by Hallmark, FTD and Vermont Teddy Bears. Clearly, for the majority of these men- if their girlriend or wife didn't receive these flowers- there would be hell to pay. Some of them even said as much, and grumbled about the whole ordeal.
You have my admiration and respect PD! It's a helluva culture we live in, eh?
My favorite "complaint" call came this afternoon. I answered the phone- the first words out of the woman's mouth were "Why didn't my boyfriend send me roses"?? Honest. That's what she said. I said..well..if you tell me his name and your name- I'll look in our orders to see if there's one there for you. Her reply? "I'm not giving my name to you- you're in some shop I don't even know".
I thanked her for calling and said good-bye.
Still wondering about her hours later...did she go off her meds- or is she taking too many...
LOL. I'm telling you, this holiday should be outlawed. Men ARE forced to participate, and many of the women are not grateful but in fact, more suspicious after getting their flowers and stuff. I have come up with a new idea. Next year, if I have a girlfriend, I'm going to buy her a rose bush so she can cut her own damn flowers. If she kills it I am still off the hook.