[caver]

Wow, I think you're scarred for life!

[Txsleuth]

You poor thing....I do emphathize with you....I am a woman, and worked in offices with women..a lion's den would be safer!!

Well....I hope you save some Valentine "spirit" for a special lady when you got home!!

[JRochelle]

Hilarious!

[socialismisinsidious]

The most important question: What color is your hummer?

[Larry Lucido]

I hate Valentines Day

Well, then this is your lucky day, since Valentine's was yesterday.

[NonValueAdded]

LOL, pd, LOL. Nice move with the orchids. As a last-minute kinda guy myself, it was interesting to see store after store with a picked-over card section still brimming with "to my husband" cards but void of any "to my wife" ones.

[Jhohanna]

Oh dear Gawd! I'm so sorry that you had to be affected by that! I hope that your evening was much better! :) For these reasons, I have forbidden my husband to deliver me anything at work, period. I can go to TJs and get a gorgeous bundle of flowers for 10 bucks and they last longer too! :D Thank you for all your hard work and for bringing so many smiles!

[saveliberty]

Aw Pukin, you deserve better. You were very sweet to get the okay to give the receptionist the orchids. :-)

[JRochelle]

"If your goal is sex, make sure you toss in the little stuffed animal."

How could you glean that from simply delivering flowers?

[ZGuy]

Here's the rest of the story . . .

Secretary : "Ooh! Flowers! Thank you! And what's your name?"
You : "Pukin Dog"
Secretary : "Uh. I have to go wash my pencils now."

[Hatteras]

"...every time I slowed down to handle a damned speed bump."

Okay, I can see why on this occasion with this particular guy and all the vases filled with water and flowers but I see it all the time, why do Hummer drivers slow down for speed bumps?

[whinecountry]

Very funny and informative post!

And you are 100-percent correctamundo re: stuffed animals. I got an unprecedented reaction from the mrs. when the Vermont Teddy Bear arrived yesterday.

[Millee]

Great story! Thanks for sharing.

This is for you! :o)

[pollyannaish]

Cute piece, like the topic. An excellent lesson in "just say no." (Ha!)

In any case, any woman who thinks Valentines Day is fundamentally important to a good relationship...well, I know this sounds harsh, but should be avoided at all cost. A man needs a genuine friend, an advocate, a fan... not a score keeper.

One of the first things my husband and I did when we started dating was agree to abolish this kind of stuff. We buy gifts for each other when they mean something, not when someone else says we have to or else. And that includes anniversaries, Christmas and birthdays. I get fewer gifts, but they are much more important ones because I know he means it.

In any case PD, I'm sorry you haven't found a decent woman. They are few and far between—which to be honest panics me. I have a son. I worry. I pray a lot.

On behalf of all women (even those who would kill me if they found out), I would like to apologize for the petty, narcissistic, its-all-about-me, attention whores we have become.

Now...work on that bitterness part. ; ).

[Tijeras_Slim]

As I always suspected, you Sir are a rank sentimentalist and romantic. :)

[TheSpottedOwl]

You can act as cranky as you want, but giving those orchids to the receptionists is the mark of a real gentleman. Good for you!

[GBA]

"...and the sea of estrogen would part, to reveal the blushing recipient..."

Well said! Perfect description of just about every office in corporate America. God save us from Hallmark holidays.

[Lady Jag]

Sorry, PD!

[CatoRenasci]

The wife and I have long agreed nice blank cards, with handwritten messages, and maybe a nice bottle of wine or champagne with dinner depending on when in the week it falls, is the limit for Valentine's Day. The kids, now off in college, each get a package from us with cards (with a few $$ in the card), some homemade heart-shaped cookies to share with their friends, and maybe a stuffed animal if my wife gets them free from promotions. We discourage our daughters from expecting flowers or bling-bling, or giving expensive gifts, for this "holiday." We always encourage them to make cards, or at least write messages in well-chosen blank cards.

Sometimes I'll get my wife 'valentine' flowers a week or two earlier or later -- outside the insanely increased price "Valentine" special timeframe. That was actually her idea, after she saw the difference in price between having roses sent any other time and on Valentines Day.

[Sam's Army]

You owe me 1 dollar.