"So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis."
By "new lover," do they mean his new, out of the box electric pencil sharpener? [ / cringe ]
I don't think any woman can realize just how painful it is to be a man and read something like this.
You just cringe, really. It's that wicked.
Maybe most women can't realize just how painful it is, but I bet they are rolling on the floor, laughing.
I know I am!
Yeah, I'm no wuss by any standard, but that gets a reaction.