Posted on 02/10/2006 6:14:10 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien
Finally here. Internet was down at work all morning. I've got a lot of catching up to do.
He's very adorable. :)
Since when can you drive tripods?
Navy SEALS are always taught
1) Keep your priorities in order
2) Know when to act without hesitation.
A Navy SEAL was attending some college courses between assignments. He had
completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.
One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member
of the ACLU.
One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling,
and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off
this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still
waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the SEAL got out of his
chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off
the platform. The professor was out cold. The SEAL went back to his
seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned
and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,
noticeably shaken, looked at the SEAL and asked, "What the hell is the
matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The SEAL calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's
soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid s**t and act like
an a**hole. So He sent me."
A Valentine’s Warning…
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. Valentine’s Day is a very special time. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price.
He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, "Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
He never heard the shot… funeral on Thursday.
Wow...Anna's pretty knowledgeable... ;-)
You sho do have some catchin' up to do!
I heard there was an avalanche in Alaska - check in to tell us you're okay - please!
'Bout time you got your arss here.
UPS guy stopped in front of our house, but he went across the street to the neighbor's. Thought you had sent me a package in honor of my quizzes.
Alrighty, these have been posted before but...
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when
you
least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of
your
unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
I'm different this time:
Your Candy Heart Says "My Way"
You love to be in love, as long as it means being showered with attention.
And no need for you to give anything in return - being with you is gift enough.
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a first class trip to Hawaii
Your flirting style: witty and showy
What turns you off: having to "chase" someone
Why you're hot: you're more confident (and arrogant) than a rock star!
| Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 56% |
 And don't worry, you're not the problem - your company is. Start looking around for another job, even if you're not totally fed up. Because in time, you're going to be dying to quit! |
Didn't think I was going to make it today.
| You're a Freaky Kisser |
 A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go |
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