Posted on 02/09/2006 8:01:24 AM PST by Millee
It's been a week for utter stupidity.
First, Nick Flynn tripped over his shoelaces and smashed three very expensive Qing vases at a museum in Cambridge.
Last night the Everton goalkeeper Richard Wright was injured after tripping over a sign telling players not to practice in the Stamford Bridge goalmouth at Chelsea.
He did not make the FA Cup fourth round replay and Everton were hammered 4-1.
And finally, a Land Rover driver admitted to a "blonde moment" after driving her car into a lake.
"One minute I was parking the car, the next I was in the water. I just had a blonde moment," she said.
So what's your worst "blonde moment"? What's the most stupid, embarrassing or humiliating thing you have ever done?
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Here are some of your memorable moments:
I was driving to a friend's house one day wondering why my feet felt so uncomfortable. When I got out of the car I noticed I had the shoes on the wrong feet. Ruth, London
Whilst watching Palestinian police firing rubber bullets at protesters on 'News night' my girlfriend (Brunette) asked me if "rubber bullets hurt more than real ones". I kid you not. Jay Baxter
Hmmm Rather embarrassing!! Was in a club talking to club Dj Tall Paul and ask..Why do they call you Tall Paul?? (he's over 6ft 5in) Tee hee Andrea Cox
I cant believe Im telling some1 this..... but I was looking on the internet to purchase a used car. The usual facts were stated, green, red, 40k, 80k, 165k, alloys, mettalic paint, etc. I couldnt believe my surprise when some1 actually stated that they were... as the previous owner... a black lady. I thought that extremelly irrellevant. I photocopied it, brought it home to the 5 members of my family and told them to listen to this for nonsense.... "opel tigra 60k alloys black lady owner electric sunroof" Get it now.... they all just BURST out laughin. Morto. Olivia the blonde (yes uve guessed it), Limerick, Ireland
A couple of weeks ago I was at my parents' house, where my mother was telling my girlfriend about one of her elderly neighbours who had a glass eye. Later in the car going home she asked me if glass eyes were really made of glass. I told her that one day they probably were, but now a days you could probably get them made of anything. I could see her mulling this over. She then turned to me and said "?.and can you see through these glass eyes?" The `are you serious` look on my face answered the question for her, to which she immediately said she was only joking??but she wasn't. Michael Newton Swinton, Manchester
My blond friend Michelle once asked an American friend "Is America the Norwich side or the Wales side of England!!" Enough said. Emma, Yorkshire Advertisement Advertisement
On a family day out, we were following some friends out toward Nottingham, my wife was on her mobile to the Female passenger of the other car when the signal faded. She said "Get closer to them". I nearly crashed the car laughing. Tony Hinks, Lincoln
I was chatting to a friend of mine while walking down Gower Street in London, after a night out. I wasn't looking where I was going. I turned to face the front and, as soon as I had, walked straight into a parking meter and knocked out my front tooth. Lindsay Wright
Just last week I left my laptop outside my house. I set the laptop bag down on the pavement so that I could reverse my car out of the driveway (it's very tight and one has to "climb" in). I then just drove off! Later that day I got a note through the door from someone saying they'd picked it up. I got it back that day, proving there still nice people in this world. Paul
I went for a meal with my boyfriend and his brother. My boyfriend and his brother ordered a large steak each, I had the chicken. When the food came the steaks were huge but both being men with big appetites they managed to polish them off to my amazement. When the bill came it was passed to me for a joke (my boyfriend's brother was paying). I looked at the bill and said "oh look, it says "well done" for eating your all your steak". He said, "no Rachel, that's how I asked for it cooking". I wanted the ground to swallow me up! Rachel, Leeds
I once picked up my sister from the train station. She got out of the train station opened the back passenger door and slammed it shut. So I sped off, thinking I looked really cool in my new car. I asked her how her day was and whether it was good and finally what was wrong as she wasn't replying. It wasn't until I turned around to look in the back that I discovered she wasn't there at all! She had put her bags in the back and was coming round to sit in the front when I chose that moment to drive off kamikaze style. Needless to say I was mortified as there was also a long queue of black cabs running along the platform and they must have seen it all... I waited for her at the end of the road. Ghazala, London
My highly intelligent, politics grad girlfriend who happens to be blonde, came out with a classic a couple of months ago. Whilst being teased for various prior blonde moments she uttered the classic, "It's not my fault, I'm just not the sharpest spoon in the drawer......". Evidently this is true. This also follows her recently telling me to "Bite the bull by the horns" Marvellous. All this, and more, while being far more intelligent than almost everybody else I know, myself included. I guess that's what having blonde hair does to you every now and then. Lee
Should we be calling these "blonde" moments? Frequently associating negative experiences, even if humorous, with a biological characteristic is reinforcing a stereotype and can be traumatic. Describing them as "lapses in concentration" or "Doh" moments (Homer Simpson) may be better. Just a thought. Hans, London
Join us when time permits.
I know you'll have a few - and your brother next door probably has more than all of us put together!
Hugs!
DD
Happy Birthday, FA!
I once had a waiter who was mumbling so bad that when he asked "Soup or salad", it sounded like "super salad". After I said "Yes" about 4 times he finally figured out to speak clearly. Bummer, I was really looking forward to a "Super salad"! :)
LOL! That reminds me of the "really big salad" Seinfeld episode.
Oh, I'm used to it. I laugh at myself.
Here's another (of the many):
I went to get my oil changed at Jiffy-Lube one fine autumn afternoon. It was a little backed up and the guy asked me to leave my car in the small line and just relax in their waiting room. A few minutes later, he came and told me I could go ahead and drive my car into the bay for my oil change.
SO I walk out through the bay and thre was a big pan of used oil in my way. (You see it coming, don't you?) I used my right foot to move it out of my way, lost my balance and down I went, one hand landing IN the pan of used oil all the way up to my elbow.
In full view of all the guys working there. They raced for shop towels, raced to help me up and I was just so freakin' embarrassed...
But once I was outta there, I laughed and laughed, thinking about it.
And my right hand was exceptionally soft and smooth all day.
*OUCH!*
LOL...I love Seinfeld.
Oh?
My brother----
Easy.
He was up in the very tip top of a pecan tree cutting limbs while my cousin and his 5 year old boy were watching. The both know him real well.
Anyhow, he falls out and hits the ground flat on his back. HARD! (but it was soft at the time, thank goodness).
Brother is lying there, trying to catch his breath when he hears the little 5 year old mutter dryly "He's dead."
One time my brother and I were making fun of my aging mother for an earlier incident in which she'd served some 'banana pudding' to guests, but had forgotten to put any bananas in it (our pudding recipe contains vanilla pudding, so there was not even any artificial banana flavoring; it also includes condensed milk, Cool Whip, etc.).
My mother defensively said, "Well, at least I didn't forget the Miracle Whip!"
Huh? Where are you? You over on this side of the world? Get your butt over here and have a beer with me then.
It's only just after 8 p.m. here.
Oh, well....'night!
My biggest blonde moment of last year.... must have been my start for the Bronze Race on Wednesday...
My airplane is one of the slowest in the class - it's basically stock and is set up for aerobatics - not racing. Last year, we had a inverted start to increase the number of passes and the excitement for the crowds.
Well, this meant that Dasher started on the first row for the first race -- and for the first time in her entire life.
They kept telling me that when the flag falls - just go. Well, they forget to mention that there were TWO FLAGS! The first flag was the Get Ready flag and the second flag was the GREEN = GO FLAG!
Well, I went on the Get Ready Flag. I probably had a 5-10 second jump on the rest of the field.
The entire week - people kept coming up to me and pointing at the color Green and saying, "Green=Go". I was the laughing stock of the entire ramp -- except that... I wasn't the first and surely won't be the last.
Lucky for me - I take it well....
It's tough enough being "The Girl" but to have to go through a MAJOR BLONDE moment also - well, I think I need a drink...
;-)
ROFL!!
Suffice it to say my entire life has been one huge blonde moment.
You know - he'll probably die from old age.
LOL!!!
Bet you gave those mechanics something to talk about for months!
I love your brother
Gotta go get my son from preschool. Be back in a while!
Grabbing an electrical wire to find where it goes and realizing that a) the click I heard was someone turning the power on and b) the sensation I was feeling was electricity running through my hand.
LOL!! And you had QUITE an audience!
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