Vanity - need translation help with a cartoon caption

Found it on the web

[Slump Tester]

Here's the cartoon:

[Slump Tester]

I know there are a lot of foks here who speak foreign languages. As a Moto Guzzi owner who USED to ride a BMW, I gotta know what the guy on the goose is saying!

I'd like the literal translation, but anything close would be appreciated.

[JennysCool]

"That thing got a hemi?"

[Slump Tester]

LOL! This can be fun. Do you know how to ping the bikers?

[martin_fierro]

I run the FR Motocycle Holigans Ping List, and believe me -- some of those bozos have a hard enough time speaking English.

[martin_fierro]

Holigans = Hooligans. In English.

[JennysCool]

Wish I could help ya there -- I don't know if there's a bike ping list.

[martin_fierro]

Slavic Pingski Thingski

[JennysCool]

Oh, wait. Now I do!

[Slump Tester]

My girlfriend says the top line roughly translates to "Not my type," but her translation of the next line didn't make much sense, so maybe she's wrong on the top line too.

[Global2010]

Hey Boy (wagging tail) I peeked at your bio and so I know you can build 'em but can you decipher 'em?

[willyd]

I think it says,"I thought you were saying you wanted to check out about dikes!!??"

[ndt]

Hmmmm...

The electronic translator say it is...

"Most we warlock white guzzi Z slouchy joški."

Somehow that does not seem correct.

[JoeSixPack1]

...some of those bozos have a hard enough time speaking English.

So the Guzzi Gumbo turns to the Beemer Bimbo and sez: hey main, put some viagra in your tank and those cylinders won't droop like dat.

[spunkets]

LOL!

[JennysCool]

A man walks in to a store and says "Can I have a Polish sausage?". The clerk says "You're Polish sir, aren't you?". The man says "Yes, I am. But that shouldn't make a difference.If I asked for a taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? If I asked for a brautwurst, would you ask if I was German? If I asked for pizza would you ask if I was Italian?". The clerk replied, "No, sir. It's just that this is Home Depot."

[Slump Tester]

I want to send this to a friend who still has a BM but wants a Guzzi. I guess that will work.

Sure would like to know the literal translation though!

[ferri]

""Most we warlock white guzzi Z slouchy joški."

Somehow that does not seem correct."

maybe not, but it is FUNNY!

[Larry Lucido]

"My legs are skinnier than yours."

[Larry Lucido]

"Please fax me some halibut."

"Don't mess with Johnny." (Did you mess with Johnny?)

[TankerKC]

I get, "All your base are belong to us!?"