Wow, everybody got up early today to start this thread, so I'm waaaaay late, but I just wanted to say I loved your post! I'm not a mom, but I like the title the auntie gets, Associate Research Assistant!
M'kay, here's my contribution...
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh Lord, send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to, "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER
I pray for a wealthy, deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs,
who owns a liquor store, a boat and beach-front property on the coast.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t.