M'kay, here's my contribution...
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh Lord, send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to, "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER
I pray for a wealthy, deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs,
who owns a liquor store, a boat and beach-front property on the coast.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t.
And yet another...
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"