I stole this joke from Humble...
On a tour of Alaska, the Pope went to the mountains for some sight seeing.
He was cruising along when suddenly there was a frantic commotion just at
the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat environmentalist, wearing a"
Save the Whales" T-shirt was struggling frantically, trying to free himself
from the jaws of a 10-foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group
of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into
the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding
semiconscious Democrat from the bear. Then, the three loggers threw the
bear onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the
injured Democrat in the back seat.
The Pope said to the loggers, "I give you my
blessing for your brave actions! I heard there was a bitter hatred between
loggers and environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes
that
love overcomes differences."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers said, "That was the Pope. He has
access to all God's wisdom."
Another logger said, "He may have access to all God's wisdom, but he sure
doesn't know anything about bear hunting..... By the way, is the bait
holding up okay or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?"
Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.
The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's a senator from New York.
Love it! I saw it on HL, cracked up and promptly told the next two people I encountered.