Posted on 01/16/2006 8:44:27 AM PST by pissant
Every year the Academy of Motion Pictures gathers around the campfire to roast, I mean, award the greatest performances of the year, yet they always fail to recognize what's really filling those seats -- striking men and luscious ladies. How many dog films have you painfully stomached so you can fill your fantasy piggybank for the next month? It's high time that just dues were paid to those who rightfully make the movie going experience a little easier on the eyes. Now to be honest this article started out as a more broad ranging look at the top ten hottest women in entertainment, but the film chicks kept crowding everybody out so, in the interest of fairness, I thought it best to focus this write-up on them, and leave the music and television babes for another day. All right to the all important criteria. Obviously, sex appeal represents the biggest chunk of the pie chart; how she looks, carries herself, her ingrained personality that shows up regardless of the role she's fitted for. Yet we can't overlook the other intangibles: acting ability, career prospects, and ability to not flip her career over the median and into oncoming traffic. Calling the Lohan table. So without further ado, let's get to the most enticing, knuckle biting, hell raising vixens of the moment.
1. Jennifer Garner - This is cheating a bit because the ass kicking Sydney Bristow is the one that puts Jennifer securely in the number 1 slot. Her movie career has proven tepid at best. Regardless, she is the thing that makes the God-awful Daredevil and the Big rip-off 13 Going on 30 must-see films. She possesses an incredible charisma that she brings to her characters, not to mention a body that looks like it was swiped off a Greek statue. She can go from endearing and innocent to sex kitten with the simple turn of a smile. She needs to make better selections in the scripts coming across her desk and ditch the career strychnine, Ben Affleck. He is an albatross around her gorgeous neck, and it's maddening to see that no talent ass clown hold her back.
2. Naomi Watts - Though she'd been around forever (Tank Girl anyone?), she made her first jackknife into the pool by playing swell Susie-Q just off the bus, looking to make it big in Hollywood, then swivels into vindictive lesbian spank inferno in Mulholland Dr. You've got to give kudos to David Lynch for knowing how to flip a bizarre film into an interesting one. Since then, she's been making her presence felt with impeccable performances in stellar indie films (21 Grams) and padding her resume with box office killers (The Ring). This British import, via Australia, is five shades of hot. She can out act just about any of the actresses on this list, and she has that pure look that reminds you of classic Hollywood with a smidge of Swedish blonde goddess, helping with the intrigue. She makes the long ass trip to the indie theatres in Atlanta worth every gas-pinching mile.
3. Angelina Jolie - Sorry Jennifer, but I've got to go with Brad on this one. On pure lust appeal alone, exotic Angelina is in an entire league of her own. Damn, she's playing another sport. Those pouty lips, those devilish eyes and that body that was just made for sin all come together to package a woman that bedazzles her male co-stars (Mr. & Mrs. Smith) and gives male audiences everywhere cause for an eternal cold shower. She's shown she can shelter these stunning looks and win Oscar with Girl Interrupted, though she's more known for her box office exploits these days. All that and she has a humanitarian streak a mile wide serving as the Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commission for Refugees. She can negotiate a surrender of arms with me anytime she wants.
4. Sienna Miller - Jude Law's "is she or isn't she" fiance is raw sex appeal at its finest. She has that touch of euro trash, mixed with blonde extravagance, that makes her blindly hot. Her acting ability is still a bit of a question mark as she has played more or less a hood ornament in her first two features (Alfie, Layer Cake), but truthfully even if she were acting in MacBeth, it would be damn near impossible to concentrate when she's onscreen. Jude Law is an idiot of staggering proportions to cheat on her. Sienna, I can treat you a lot better than that wanker.
5. Kirsten Dunst - Maybe the strongest indicator of a woman's sexiness should be getting men to see movies they would never see in a million years. Take Bring It On. Yep, the cheerleading explosion of pep and cheesy storylines. Not only have I seen it, it's in my video collection. Do I have a thing for cheerleaders? Umm, I plea the fifth on that one. The reason it's there is Kirsten or, more specifically, Kirsten in a sports bra. The girl has sex appeal, and she knows how to maximize the hell out of it. You think that wet sheer dress in Spider-man 2 was an accident? Imagine how bothersome it would be to be swinging about town with an erection? Damn you Mary Jane!
6. Elisha Cuthbert - She was a cutie with oceans of potential on 24, but has become down right babelicious since breaking onto the film circuit. She made Rebecca DeMornay look almost homely by comparison in the shameless knock off of Risky Business, The Girl Next Door. She still has a lot to prove concerning whether she can carry a film on more than her sexpot status. Doing goofy B-movie horror flicks with Paris Hilton isn't helping her case. Only time will tell, I guess.
7. Jennifer Aniston - The hottest of the Friends, and the only one to have a viable acting career after the hit show ran out of steam. Jennifer is classy and has that certain girl next-door charm that you just want to take home to meet mom. She's possesses the range to play one half of the fun, loving romantic comedy duo that used to be Meg Ryan's domain, as well as taking on the serious indie fare (The Good Girl) seamlessly. You got everything from Brad you needed girl. Look ahead to greener pastures, and a movie career that could easily eclipse his.
8. Keira Knightley - She's shown she can be one of the boys wielding her six-pack in Bend it Like Beckham then turn into the most beautiful bride in imagination in Love Actually. She does best when she plays the spunky and tempestuous vixen that would just assume kick her male love interest in the cajones as make sweet love to him. Ah, you've got to love the girls that play hard to get. She also comes equipped with that sexy English accent which beats the plain Jane American drawl any day. Ms. Knightley's bankability as an actress is on fire after her winning ways on Pirates of the Caribbean, and she still keeps that indie air of respectability intact by staring in features a bit off the beaten path. After releasing the Jacket earlier this year, she has two more that will hit you before the year's sundown (Pride and Prejudice, Domino). Prepare for Knightley to whip you into submission. Now where did I stash those handcuffs?
9. Rachel McAdams - Everyone thought that Mean Girls was the film that established Lindsay Lohan, but little did we know that the head of the Plastics was the one really making her mark. While Lindsay has seen fit to drown her personal life in drama and dose her fiery red locks, Rachel has been rising like a meteor, convincing Owen Wilson that bachelor status doesn't compare to being with this spunky pistol in Wedding Crashers. She also did the impossible, making the girly film of the year the Notebook a must-see for guys everywhere. The girl has acting talent to spare and when she doesn't downplay her looks (Red Eye), she can steal the screen from anyone.
10. Natalie Portman - It's tough watching her eye popping, stripper ways in Closer and not think back to the scrawny, barely supporting a training bra, Mathilda from the Professional. She's grown up before our very eyes and has become quite the actress in the process. She's not afraid to take on traditionally type casting roles like Princess Amidala in Star Wars, strong indie fare like Garden State or a hard hitting drama like Closer. Wiggling in a degree from Harvard certainly is nothing to scoff at either. Hmm...so nice.
Honorable Mentions: Jessica Alba, Diane Lane, Kate Bosworth, Claire Danes, Kate Beckinsale
WAY overrated. As an actress AND as a beauty.
I don't know belluci, other than that dead SNL comedian....
LOL. Max??
Before her animal rights phase, I assume.
See the movie Melena. You will never be the same.
Me and Max will be racing to call dibs on this:
Rent Ghost World sometime. It is a strange, quirky little film but I found it very entertaining and enjoyable.
If she still looked like that, I'd go vegetarian (on the days we were together, at least).
I'd ber pure carnivore, myself....
Thanx.
She's pretty outspoken against the French Muslim population (in fact her Politically Incorrect tongue has gotten her in a lot of trouble recently). I'd give her a pass on her animal rights activism.
She can berate muslims and eating pigs. Now that is talent.
Keira Knightley ... yummm.
Natalie Portman too, and she's a Harvard grad!
Drew Barrymore? The skank with the lantern jaw? She can act (it's in the genes after all ) but as a babe she is not in these women's league.
I didn't realize acting ability was part of the criteria for this thread... or for this group of guys for that matter.
One for the old school (80's is old school, right?)
sigh...now I have your confimation that I am too old for you. :-(
Give that chick a calzone, for Pete's sake!!!
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