[ScubieNuc]

I know nothing about poetry. I sometimes get sketchy thoughts that I write down. It usually reads kind of choppy, but to me it's how my thoughts proceed.

Here's an example:

The cave,No light, black, cold. stumbling, falling, pain. Afraid.

Lost, confused, Time unknown, Helpless, Dieing.

Regrets, Plans made, never claimed. Love never shown, Apologies never said, Sobbing.

Desperately praying, Humblely seeking, God. A light, a call. Joy unspeakable Flooding my soul. Saved!

When I was younger I liked to memorize some of the sing-song type poems, but now it doesn't seem to convey what I'm feeling.

I'm open to constructive criticism, and direction on how to refine this kind of poetry.

[Soaring Feather]

Good morning everyone.

[Soaring Feather]

Hello and Welcome to the Lair.

Sorry I missed you early this morning, I logged off after my little blooper post.


You mentioned the little sing songs lines you did as a child. Well, that is kinda of the way things start for poets.


I see nothing wrong with your structure.

I never critique poetry.

I would suggest to continue to capture these lines on paper. It will come to you how to shape them. One becomes a poet by living and experiencing life. To me your little poems are abstract --I both think and write abstract.

[fatima]

I like this one the best."Regrets, Plans made, never claimed. Love never shown, Apologies never said, Sobbing".

[Soaring Feather]

Let's work on this, okay??

The cave,No light, black, cold. stumbling, falling, pain. Afraid.

Afraid, no light
the cave,black, cold
stumbling, falling. pain
afraid.


Lost, confused, Time unknown, Helpless, Dieing.

Time unkown
helpless, dieing.
confused,lost.
Time unkown.

Just a couple for you to ponder on. ;)



I don't want to rewrite your work.

What you have now are fragments.

We need to work a little structure into them.



Study the other poets here--how they lay the words down.

You are gonna do just fine.