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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread **** (Festivus 2005 Edition)
OFST ^ | 12/23/2005 | AllOfUs

Posted on 12/23/2005 5:39:40 AM PST by BJClinton

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To: hummingbird
My feat of strength.. What do I win?


341 posted on 12/23/2005 1:12:48 PM PST by papineau (Guns or butter?)
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To: BJClinton

-Eric

342 posted on 12/23/2005 1:27:36 PM PST by E Rocc (Bah Humbug.)
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To: SquirrelKing
Best Blonde Joke ever!
343 posted on 12/23/2005 1:35:07 PM PST by CJ Wolf (BTW can someone add 'zot' to the FR spellchecker?)
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To: CJ Wolf
*snicker* buh-bye blond joke
344 posted on 12/23/2005 1:51:37 PM PST by Michael Barnes
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To: CJ Wolf
Do I feel blonde right now.

I am going to hide now

345 posted on 12/23/2005 2:13:18 PM PST by JimWforBush (3 things I won't discuss...Politics, Religion and The Great Pumpkin)
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To: The_Victor
You Were Mostly Nice This Year!
Sure, you had your naughty moments... but guess what?
Santa was probably sleeping when you were living it up.
As far as he's concerned, you've been on your best behavior.
So cross your fingers, and you might score good presents.
Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

346 posted on 12/23/2005 2:26:27 PM PST by Kate of Spice Island (samtsirhC yrreM - Merry Christmas)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Your Elf Name Is...
Freckles Stocking Stuffer
What's Your Elf Name?

347 posted on 12/23/2005 3:05:21 PM PST by Kate of Spice Island (samtsirhC yrreM - Merry Christmas)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Your Elf Name Is...
Freckles Stocking Stuffer
What's Your Elf Name?

348 posted on 12/23/2005 3:05:51 PM PST by Kate of Spice Island (samtsirhC yrreM - Merry Christmas)
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To: hattend

JERRY: 20 thousand dollars from Kruger? You're not keeping this.
GEORGE: I don't know.
JERRY: Excuse me?
GEORGE: I've been doing a lot of thinking. This might be my chance to start giving something back.
JERRY: You want to give something back? Start with the 20 thousand dollars.
GEORGE: I'm serious.
JERRY: You're going to start your own charity?
GEORGE: I think I could be a philanthropist. a kick ass philanthropist! I would have all this money, and people would love me. Then they would come to me.. and beg! And if I felt like it, I would help them out. And then they would owe me big time! (Thinking to himself) .. First thing I'm gonna need is a driver...


349 posted on 12/23/2005 3:39:09 PM PST by sully777 (What Would Brian Boitano Do?)
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To: BJClinton

What the Lech is that guy doing on the Festivus thread?


350 posted on 12/23/2005 3:56:04 PM PST by sully777 (What Would Brian Boitano Do?)
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To: CJ Wolf
DAAAAANNNG!
351 posted on 12/23/2005 4:28:23 PM PST by hummingbird (Festivus, a Holiday for the Rest of Us!)
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To: BJClinton

And a most Joyous Celebrestival to you.


352 posted on 12/23/2005 4:31:26 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (I voted Republican because no Conservatives were running.)
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To: papineau
Was there a credible, sober (or so) witness who can verify that this is not photoshop?

What the heck, its Festivus. You win! What you win, I don't know. I'll get back with you. (car screeching out of driveway)
353 posted on 12/23/2005 4:32:22 PM PST by hummingbird (Festivus, a Holiday for the Rest of Us!)
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To: sully777

It's the only pole (from Poland) picture he could find for this thread.


354 posted on 12/23/2005 6:02:33 PM PST by hattend (There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.


355 posted on 12/24/2005 3:07:04 AM PST by fredhead (The NAVY - Full Speed Ahead (or is it Astern?))
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To: sure_fine
SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS.


356 posted on 12/24/2005 7:57:37 PM PST by FreeKeys (A Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukah Everybody!)
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To: baker_girl; Jersey Republican Biker Chick
LOL!!!!!

You Are Dasher
You're an independent minded reindeer who never plays by the rules.

Why You're Naughty: That little coup you tried to stage against Santa last year

Why You're Nice: You secretly give naughty children presents.
Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

357 posted on 12/27/2005 10:26:52 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (If better were within, better would come out. - -Thomas Fuller)
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To: Dashing Dasher

TGIF


358 posted on 12/27/2005 10:27:40 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: KevinDavis
How fun!
Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Little Wrapped Presents
You've made Santa a very happy fellow this year.
Don't worry - what happens at the North Pole stays at the North Pole!
What Will Be In Your Christmas Stocking?

359 posted on 12/27/2005 10:31:07 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: fredhead

I love that!
I must memorize it!


360 posted on 12/27/2005 10:45:36 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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