[PaulaB]

Please post all letters to Santa here.
Will be leaving to the North Pole as of Friday. ;)

[Zacs Mom]

Dear Santa ~

What I really want most for Christmas this year is for every one's heart to know ...

I have a list of people I know,
All written in a book.
And every year at Christmastime,
I go and take a look.
 
And that is when I realize,
That those names are a part,
Not of the book they're written in,
But of my very heart.
 
For each name stands for someone,
Who has crossed my path some time.
And in that meeting they've become,
A treasured friend of mine.
 
And once you've met some people,
The years can not erase,
The memory of a pleasant word,
Or a friendly face.
 
So when I send a Christmas card,
That is addressed to you,
It's because you're on that list,
Of folk I'm indebted to.
 
And you are one of many folk who,
In times past I've met,
And happen to be one of those,
I don't want to forget.
 
And whether I have known you for,
Many years or few,
In some way you have a part in,
Shaping things I do.
 
This, the spirit of Christmas,
that Forever and ever endures.
May it leave it richest blessing,
In the hearts of you and yours.

Thanks, Santa!

[Lazamataz]

I'm the anti-Santa.

If you are naughty, I give you something special.

[Millee]

Dear Santa,

Please don't let Max & r-q stiff me at lunch anymore.

Sincerely,

PaulaB

[teenyelliott]

Dear Santa,

No more stuff, please. Just bring some elves and pack up my house. Thanks.

p.s. Would you mind if I use your sleigh to move my crap?

[Keith in Iowa]

[Maximus of Texas]

Dear Santa: Thank you so much for answering my letters from previous years. I'm still taking medicine to clear the STD that last year's gift gave me but hey, its Christmas, ya know? (if you see her this year, tell her I still have her protestic leg she left behind).

This year my wish list is a bit different. Instead of things for me and only me, I want you to share what you have slated for me with my FReeper friends. Well, on second thought, I don't know if many of my lady FReeper friends swing both ways so maybe you better not use the gifts you have slated for me so lets start with a new list. Some are for them, some for me. Ok, here goes:

1. PaulaB - You know she looks like the lead singer from that country group, Sugarland. I wish that you give her a guitar, the ability to play it and a 10:00 to 11:00 time slot at Baby Dolls in which to showcase her talents. Also, give her some lessons on coming through for friends in need.

2. Longelegantlegs - For her to disclose the location of that certain piece of art.

3. Millee - For her to pay up on the bet she lost earlier this year.

4. Teenyelliott - Santa, she scares me sometimes. Really! So instead of asking for a Mr. Miyagi to teach me "wax on, wax off", I'm asking that you use what she learned from her week-long cruise for the good of mankind (drinking and dancing nude on the Captain's table)

5. EX52D- Santa, we just want the truth from EX52D. Are they really, you know?

6. Dashing Dasher - Santa, for DD, I'm hoping she wakes up to find ex-Raider George Blanda in her bed.

7. Tuffydoodle - For her to apologize for all the mean things she did to me in high school (and she should apologize for that kid in the wheelchair that she pushed down the ramp). If she does, then give her a new horse. If she doesn't, then make the horse the "Animal House" variety.

8. Fierce Allegiance - To award him with a dirt moving contract at Hooters.

9. r-q-tek86 - A new screen name.

10. Peacebaby - She keeps saying she wants peace but I wish you give her something really goofy. Maybe combine the two and have her see Michael Jackson appointed to the UN.

11. Lawgirl - That she represent me in case any of my FReeper friends sue me over the gifts you will give them at my request.

12. Najida - Santa, this one is special and sincere. Have her wake up with all the hunks on her profile in her bed.

13. Jersey Republican Biker Chick - Give her new Schwin or Huffy bike. As you can see by her screen name, she likes bikes.

Santa, this concludes my list. It's long but these guys are special and they deserve everything I listed. Tell the Mrs. I said hi and that even after all these years, she is still doable.

Max

[QwertyKPH]

Can you give me a diet that really works?

[PMCarey]

Dear Santa,

I'm trying to get in touch with Superman at his Fortress of Solitude. I figured since you and he were neighbors you would know the address.

[laney]

Dear Santy,
I want PEACE, Health Happiness and a day at the Red Rock Spa in Utah

[DrewsDad]

(dictating my son's letter)

Dear Santa,

What I'd like for Christmas is a map of Asia...and Santa, I'd like you to have a wonderful Christmas too.

Does Rudolph actually guide your sleigh?

Your Friend,
Drew

[samiam1972]

Dear Santa,

Could you make the Chiefs win the Super Bowl? No?

Okay, um, forget 'Peace on Earth', I'd settle for peace in my house!! Not that either?

Hmmm....a jug of Cask and Cream? Okay!!! I'll just take a couple of those liitle liquor chocolates. Whiskey, please!

Thank you Santa!

[trussell]

Dear Santa...please help keep a certain offender from getting paroled, and help me to make this a stress free Christmas for my precious babies.

[Galveston Grl]

Santa, I want my children to be blessed and protected from all temptations. I want my husband and I to be kept healthy, in love and guided in our work.

[Vision]

How about one to a Turkey?

[Flux Capacitor]

Dear Santa,

I need several cases of plutonium. The more you can get me, the better. If that's too hard to come by then a fusion reactor should work out just as well. If you can't dig up one of those, either, then please ask the Big Guy to arrange a lightning strike at an exact time and location to be specified by me in a follow-up letter. Thanks so much.

Best,
-Dan

[fredhead]

Dear Santa,

I want to be debt free,

And I want a workshop just like Norm Abram's "New Yankee Workshop".

I've been kinda good this year, better than last year.

[BJClinton]

Dear Santa,

A man of your age and weight really needs to think about his health. For Christmas I'd like you to get on a diet and try getting some exercise, try walking instead of riding around in your sled. Also, you'd be well-served to cut back on the drinking. We *know* where that red nose comes from.

Sincerly,
BJ "Downer" Clinton

[najida]

I want whirled peas please :)

[leda]

sharing something i got today from a dear friend.
hope the moms enjoy it.

Dear Santa:

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled
my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than
my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to
plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how
to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with
staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several
Christmases since I had to write this letter with my son's red
crayon on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between
cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the
next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing
kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and
arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to
carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery
store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the
seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like a car with
fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult
music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs
containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret
compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the
phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that
says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with
one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three
pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of
power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting,
"Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your
brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's
hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack,
the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of
preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is
guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the In-laws' house
seem just like mine.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for
enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same
morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room
temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
brighten the holiday season.

Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable?
It will clear my conscience immensely.

It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help
around the house without demanding payment as if they were the
bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't
look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in
his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw
my feet under the laundry room door.

I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember
to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off
by the fire so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or
leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always
Mom

PS One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can
keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.