Posted on 12/19/2005 9:43:18 PM PST by Sarajevo
Most likely you are surprised that such a thing exists. You are not alone.
When I discovered Playboy in Braille years ago, it was in a box in an abandoned building. I found myself in a state of disbelief. The kind you feel when you're being chased by a leprechaun with a crossbow.
It's normal to not want Playboy in Braille to exist. Because it's weird. It raises too many questions. Questions like: Why is the government printing Playboy in Braille? And: How do you explain a naked woman to a pubescent, visually impaired teen?
"Elka leans against a wall, wearing only a carpenter's tool belt. She's hot. Believe me."
"Katsumi arches unnaturally over a coffee table. You can see the whole thing."
"Anja's Mediterranean skin is a warm brown, like the craft paper Playboy you're reading with your finger."
Playboy in Braille makes you think. It's exciting but uncomfortable at the same time. Like Courtney Love fixing your stove.
Run your fingers over the pages, never really knowing if you're touching a gorgeous blonde or an essay by Tom Clancy. Was that Cindy Crawford's bum, or an interview with Gore Vidal? Frankly, it's whatever you want it to be.
That's the glory of Playboy in Braille. November 1995.Volume XLII, No. 11.
It's number 2 in a 4 part series. I don't know where the other parts are, but you'd only miss them if you could read Braille. And you can't, because you're reading this.
This would be a terrible gift for the visually impaired, because you don't give the visually impaired one quarter of a decade-old Playboy as a gift.
But for you? Put it out on the coffee table like I did. Owning Playboy in Braille is like having a Day-Glo orange monkey that can curse in Farsi. It gets attention. People talk.
You want Playboy in Braille. Playboy in Braille wants you.
At least that's what I think it says.
[In a fit of irony, eBay removed the listing, citing it as being for "Mature Audiences."]
Posted in eBay by Brian Sack
I remember how I used to sit on your face and wriggle.
Uh, are we still quoting movies or reliving our senior prom?
Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
I'm reliving our senior prom ... and stop calling me Shirley.
The prom, it was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit.
I haven't felt this awful since I saw that Ronald Reagan film.
Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.
Understandable ;-)
I wasn't trying to be snarky, I really do wonder if people ever use those. I asked for one once, and the employee just stared at me. "Uh, I don't think we have any..."
The survival of everyone on board depends on just one thing: finding someone on board who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner.
Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...
Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.
Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.
Male announcer: Look Betty, don't start up with your white zone sh%t again.
male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.
No wonder you're upset. She's lovely. And a darling figure... supple, pouting breasts... firm thighs. It's a shame you two don't get along.
Where'd everybody else go?
Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the usual suspects.
"In college, I took and passed Anatomy by Braille 101...I got an A+ as a matter of fact."
why am I not surprised?
(anatomy of Braille, maybe?)
You win!
You want a girl with skin like braille?!
Ha-ha! That's silly! It's a temporary tattoo. It comes off in water.
You're supposed to erase the file before returning the package.
It's like rewinding the video tape.
I sure am looking forward to getting the first installment...
It'll be here any day now. It's coming from Nigeria.
You want a girl with bumps that wash off?
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