Posted on 11/29/2005 11:30:51 AM PST by pissant
Last year, we ran through the list of best Christmas songs and carols. Lotsa of great memories. This year, it's time to list the WORST Christmas songs ever recorded. Some are because the version performed by the "artist" is horrid. Others because the song itself is weak and irritating. You be the judge.
Either way, I had a difficult time paring down the list. I left off "novelty" songs by the Chipmunks and Donald Duck, etc. They were intended to annoy, and thus were successful in their own right!
Top 7 Worst Christmas Songs Ever Recorded
7. Blue Christmas - by ANYONE OTHER THAN ELVIS PRESLEY -- Great song when sung by the King. Otherwise it is grating beyond belief.
6. 12 days of Christmas - various artists -- Why anyone listens to this silly thing is beyond me
5. Frosty the Snowman - various artists -- As annoying to me as the TV cartoon trotted out each year
4. Do They Know It's Christmas - Band Aid -- Another Bob Geldof save the starving biafrins effort. Truly unlistenable. With singing contributions from Boy George, Stink (Sting to some), and Wham, it is doomed to make many "worst" lists until it is completely forgotten about.
3. So This is Christmas - John Lennon -- As bad, if not worse, than his retarded Give Peace A Chance. A dirge for the ages.
2. Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen -- Truly pathetic, like 98% of his constipated sounding songs.
1. Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Jackson Five -- Truly the most irritating vocals I've ever heard, by a screeching young Michael Jackson. Nails on Chalkboards sound like Pavoratti by comparison
Thank you, that version cracks me up.
LOL...hopefully you will be spared that this year.
She changed it about 2 weeks before Christmas, because even she was that sick of it. LOL
I must agree with you there. It is not only cloying, simple-minded and puerile, but actually resulted in one of the most uncharitable thoughts I ever recall having.
Elmo & Patsy ROCK!
9. Merry ****ing Christmas, Mr. Garrison, South Park, 2003
(Chorus) The First Thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Chorus)…is finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Second Thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Redneck Male)…Rigging up the lights…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Third Thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…rigging up the lights…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Fourth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Gay Male)…sending Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…rigging up the lights!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Fifth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…sending Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…rigging up the lights!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Sixth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…facing my in-laws…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…oh, I hate those Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…rigging up these lights!!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Seventh thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…The Salvation Army…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…facing my in-laws…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…sending Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…oh jeez…
(Redneck Male)…I’m trying to rig up these lights!!!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Eighth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…I want a TRANSFORMER for Christmas!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…charities..and what do you mean, YOUR in-laws?!?…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…uhh…making out these cards…
(Archie Bunker)…Edith, get me a beer, huh?…
(Redneck Male)…What, we have NO EXTENSION CORDS?!?!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Ninth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Male)…finding parking spaces…
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…Daddy, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…Donations!…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…facing my in-laws…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…writing out those Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…NOW WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BLINKING?!?!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Tenth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Female)…”Batteries not Included?!?!”…
(Male)…no parking spaces…
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…BUY ME SOMETHING!!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…Get a Job, Ya Bum!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…ohh…facing the in-laws…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…Yo-ho, Sending Christmas Cards!!…
(Archie Bunker)…ah, jeez, look at this…
(Redneck Male)…ONE LIGHT GOES OUT, THEY ALL GO OUT!!!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The Eleventh thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(2nd Gay Male)…stale TV specials!!…
(Female)…batteries not included…
(Male)…no parking spaces…
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…Mommy, I GOTTA GO to the BAFFROOM!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…charities…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…she’s a witch, I hate her!…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…Oh, I don’t even KNOW half these people!!
(Archie Bunker)…oh, who’s got the terlet paper, huh?…
(Redneck Male)…GET A FLASHLIGHT, I BLEW A FUSE!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.
(Chorus) The twelfth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Chorus) …singing Christmas carols…
(2nd Gay Male)…stale TV specials…
(Female)…batteries not included…
(Male)…no parking!…
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…charities…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…gotta make ‘em dinner…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…Oh that’s it! I’m not sending ‘em this year!
(Archie Bunker)…Shut Up, You!
(Redneck Male)…FINE, YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!…
(Chorus) …a-nd fin-ding a Chris-ist-mas treeeee-eeeeee-eeeeee-eeeeee.
I like that one. They play it at AA meetings during Christmas. The chipmunks--well! All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth---amerian dental assoc holiday theme song. One from the 1950s--I want a Hippopotomous for Christmas----something the PETA people could feel offended by.
Sounds like you'll be safe this Christmas!
Christmas Shoes
ping
Those dogs barking out Jingle Bells
If you had ever seen the Boss live during the holiday season, you might feel diffently. Bruce also rocks out on "Merry Christmas Baby"
Gotta disagree.
The version done by Porky Pig is a strong number two. If you haven't heard it...I can host it somewhere I think.
"I'm a gonna have a beya-beya-beya-blue Christtmas...
weeya-weeya-weeya-without you..."
Let me revise your top five:
5) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
4) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
3) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
2) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
1) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
There. :)
I hate it.
BUMP!
I have got to hear that....I'm threatening to get it for a couple of my friends who have pulled pranks on me in the past.
Isn't Donald Trump mixed up in that as well? (Making it even more of a weapon to use on friends who are "owed one?")
It is funny the first time...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.