Top 7 Worst Christmas Songs

PA Times | 11/29/05 | Santa Pissant

[gate2wire]

Thank you, that version cracks me up.

[EX52D]

LOL...hopefully you will be spared that this year.

[retrokitten]

She changed it about 2 weeks before Christmas, because even she was that sick of it. LOL

[andy58-in-nh]

So This is Christmas - John Lennon

I must agree with you there. It is not only cloying, simple-minded and puerile, but actually resulted in one of the most uncharitable thoughts I ever recall having.

[Redcloak]

Elmo & Patsy ROCK!

[Lazamataz]

8. Santa Claus Is Going To Hacksaw You Apart And Eat Your Eyeballs -- Lazamataz, 2005

9. Merry ****ing Christmas, Mr. Garrison, South Park, 2003

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

Tisk, Tisk, Tisk.
Over 60 posts, and not a single mention of “The Twelve Pains of Christmas”

(Chorus) The First Thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Chorus)…is finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Second Thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Redneck Male)…Rigging up the lights…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Third Thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…rigging up the lights…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Fourth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Gay Male)…sending Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…rigging up the lights!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Fifth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…sending Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…rigging up the lights!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Sixth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…facing my in-laws…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…oh, I hate those Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…rigging up these lights!!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Seventh thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…The Salvation Army…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…facing my in-laws…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…sending Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…oh jeez…
(Redneck Male)…I’m trying to rig up these lights!!!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Eighth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…I want a TRANSFORMER for Christmas!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…charities..and what do you mean, YOUR in-laws?!?…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…uhh…making out these cards…
(Archie Bunker)…Edith, get me a beer, huh?…
(Redneck Male)…What, we have NO EXTENSION CORDS?!?!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Ninth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Male)…finding parking spaces…
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…Daddy, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…Donations!…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…facing my in-laws…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…writing out those Christmas cards…
(Archie Bunker)…hangovers…
(Redneck Male)…NOW WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BLINKING?!?!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Tenth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Female)…”Batteries not Included?!?!”…
(Male)…no parking spaces…
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…BUY ME SOMETHING!!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…Get a Job, Ya Bum!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…ohh…facing the in-laws…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…Yo-ho, Sending Christmas Cards!!…
(Archie Bunker)…ah, jeez, look at this…
(Redneck Male)…ONE LIGHT GOES OUT, THEY ALL GO OUT!!!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The Eleventh thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(2nd Gay Male)…stale TV specials!!…
(Female)…batteries not included…
(Male)…no parking spaces…
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…Mommy, I GOTTA GO to the BAFFROOM!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…charities…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…she’s a witch, I hate her!…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…Oh, I don’t even KNOW half these people!!
(Archie Bunker)…oh, who’s got the terlet paper, huh?…
(Redneck Male)…GET A FLASHLIGHT, I BLEW A FUSE!!…
(Chorus) …and finding a Christmas tree.

(Chorus) The twelfth thing at Christmas, that’s such a pain to me,
(Chorus) …singing Christmas carols…
(2nd Gay Male)…stale TV specials…
(Female)…batteries not included…
(Male)…no parking!…
(Spoiled Rotten, Screaming, 5 year old)…WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!…
(Frazzled Bronx Husband)…charities…
(Frazzled Bronx Wife)…gotta make ‘em dinner…
(Chorus) …FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!…
(Gay Male)…Oh that’s it! I’m not sending ‘em this year!
(Archie Bunker)…Shut Up, You!
(Redneck Male)…FINE, YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!…
(Chorus) …a-nd fin-ding a Chris-ist-mas treeeee-eeeeee-eeeeee-eeeeee.

[brooklyn dave]

I like that one. They play it at AA meetings during Christmas. The chipmunks--well! All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth---amerian dental assoc holiday theme song. One from the 1950s--I want a Hippopotomous for Christmas----something the PETA people could feel offended by.

[Fierce Allegiance]

Damn, you are always one to stir up controversy! /s

[EX52D]

Sounds like you'll be safe this Christmas!

[stocksthatgoup]

Christmas Shoes

[conservatrice]

ping

[DenverGal]

Those dogs barking out Jingle Bells

[Born Conservative]

This would seem to be a Christmas song that Pissant would like....

[WhiteGuy]

2. Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen --

If you had ever seen the Boss live during the holiday season, you might feel diffently. Bruce also rocks out on "Merry Christmas Baby"

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

"Blue Christmas - by ANYONE OTHER THAN ELVIS PRESLEY -- Great song when sung by the King. Otherwise it is grating beyond belief. "

Gotta disagree.

The version done by Porky Pig is a strong number two. If you haven't heard it...I can host it somewhere I think.

"I'm a gonna have a beya-beya-beya-blue Christtmas...
weeya-weeya-weeya-without you..."

[Colonel_Flagg]

Let me revise your top five:

5) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
4) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
3) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
2) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
1) Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

There. :)

[BureaucratusMaximus]

Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" (I think that's the title anyway)

I hate it.

BUMP!

[Allegra]

Regis Philin's Christmas Album. Please someone tell this man he can't sing.

I have got to hear that....I'm threatening to get it for a couple of my friends who have pulled pranks on me in the past.

Isn't Donald Trump mixed up in that as well? (Making it even more of a weapon to use on friends who are "owed one?")

[BureaucratusMaximus]

Jingle Bells with dogs barking. Annoying as hell.

It is funny the first time...