Posted on 11/21/2005 5:58:45 AM PST by Drawsing
Weird kid up a tree
I have seen people here come up with some good insights, so I thought I would take advantage of this forum to help me figure out the behavior of this weird kid.
Yesterday my two boys and I were getting ready to distribute our Boy Scout popcorn to the folks who had ordered it. We were still in the house and I heard the neighbor's dog barking and someone yelling "ShutUp!" very loud. It sounded like it was in my driveway, so I went out and looked, but saw nothing. A little bit later, one of my boys ran into the house and said, "Dad! There's a kid up in the magnolia tree spying on us. By the time I got out of the house this time, the kid was already out of the next door neighbor's magnolia tree and across the street. He was cutting across several neighbor's yards (we live in a subdivision) and looking back over his shoulder at me. I was surprised at his total disregard for property lines. I saw him peeking around the corner of one of my neighbor's houses at me. My younger 8 year old son said that he had tried talking to him, but the boy had pulled out a cell phone and started talking on it.
We loaded the popcorn into a wagon and went around the corner, but about five minutes later, we snuck back and sure enough, he was back up in the tree. I approached him from behind and spoke to him.
"Hey", I said.
"Hey" he said.
"What are you doing up there?" I said.
"Climbing a tree." he said.
"Do you live here?" I asked.
"Yes." he said.
"What are the people's names that live here?" I asked.
"Oh, Uh ....I don't mean I live right here. I live down the street in a cove." he said.
"Well", I said, "You shouldn't be climbing trees on other people's property."
"Uh huh." he said.
"What is your name?" I asked.
He told me his name.
"Well", I said, "I think you need to come on down and go home."
He climbed down slowly, then with a big attitude he shuffled down the street, again cutting directly through the neighbor's yards. All the while I had been talking with him, he did not look me in the eye, but was playing with some frilly rubber toy around his neck. We live in a decent neighborhood and he was dressed in clean, fairly nice clothes. He needed a haircut, but it was not too bad. He looked to be between 13 -15 years old. To summarize the weirdness: 1. Loud shouting while up in the tree. 2. Total disregard for property lines. 3. Returning to the same tree where he had been caught five minutes before. 5. Attempting a foolish lie about where he lived.
So what do you think? Should I expect some form of retaliation? Could I have handled this better? What is the matter with this kid?
Thanks.
This is so sad. Good heavens, sounds like just a normal kid to me being a kid.
All this worry about property lines...I don't get it. Probably why neighbors don't visit anymore. Every one's worried about people coming into their space. Geez... When i was a kid we went everywhere around our neighborhood except where there were fences. We climbed any tree that was climbable, we would swing in any swingset not in a fence. People didn't care. People enjoyed watching kids play. Kids didn't have to turn in to sneaky criminals to climb a tree. As long as no damage was being done to property No one cared.
Lighten up.
Becky
Since my neighbors and I all knew each other and all our parents knew each other we freely hung out on each others' property.
The only time I spent as a kid on anyone's property whom I didn't know was to retrieve some balls and pucks from time to time from people who were known not to return found objects if you asked them.
In my urban neighborhood there really was no reason to spend time on a stranger's property unless you wanted to steal something - no inviting streams or woods or rock formations or anything like that.
Just poured concrete and tomato patches.
If they know what boundaries are, yes. Some don't.
Dang, we spent hours and hours sitting up in trees. The world looked so "forever and ever" from up there :)
Exactly, and most likely the parents got to know each other thru the kids coming into each others spaces.
I don't see anything wrong with drawstring finding out where this kid came from and introducing themselves to them. But to act like the kid was a criminal because he was up a tree not on his property and walking across others property, is just a bit extreme.
Becky
Your points are much more understandable coming from a city kid.
We climbed fences, jumped over them & ran through all of the yards-- no one cared. We were just being kids, and, unlike kids today, NONE of us were even slightly plump -- all that running, climbing and jumping was hard work.
It doesn't sound like to me this kid was being a smart mouth. He answered all the questions asked. (now granted I am not able to judge his tone). A kid being a smart mouth wouldn't have answered. And as far as his answer to do you live here, I don't think his first answer was an out ant out lie. He lived in the neighborhood so he lived there from a kids prespective.
Becky
There's a retarded teen in my neighborhood who once came to my door offering to sell my wife a set of kitchen knives which had clearly been well, well used.
My wife politely declined and he must have just tossed the knives all over my lawn in a moment of frustration, because my daughter and I found them the next morning.
I found out later he'd been going door to door trying to sell them all over my neighborhood that day - I guess he just totally gave up after my wife said no.
Anyway, I went and asked his mom if she was missing any knives and she was confused - then she told me that his latest thing was looking through people's garbage to find salvageable stuff he thought he could sell.
I guess my point is, if it were a developmentally normal teen who pulled that little stunt I would have been extremely concerned, but in this kid's case I knew he was just trying to do a little business.
Thus my advice to the guy who started the thread - talk to the parents first, police second.
Once we knew someone didn't care if we went in a fenced yard (and I can't remember one we couldn't go in:), we did that too. I really feel for kids now a days.
Becky
See post # 51 on this thread.
Sounds like a totally normal kid to me.
Thanks to everyone who read my post carefully and provided thoughtful responses.
I think that those who defend the kid's behavior as normal and are scornful of my "hand wringing" may have felt differently if they had actually seen the kid for themselves. I probably did a poor job of describing it, but his demeanor was distinctly odd.
As to property lines, all I can say is that in my neighborhood (like it or not, right or wrong) you simply do not cut across people's yards, climb their trees and lean on their houses without permission.
Yes, it was our property.
We had a retarded/deaf kid in our neighborhood. For some reason, he decided to hang out at our house. He was a huge kid who I was told was inappropriate with young girls. He followed my daughter and her friends (who was MUCH younger). Maybe he was just lonely. We were always nice to him. My husband even loaned him money from time to time but we finally had to dissuade him from coming over. I never knew if the accusations were true about him, but couldn't take the chance.
I still think of that kid and what happened to him. He had nowhere to go and nothing to do. Sad.
Well then I would say, go talk to his parents first before judging, AND why not be the first in your neighborhood to welcome and kids onto your property. Be the Kool-aide mom:)
Becky
And I meant to add, when you go talk to his parents, don't put them on the defensive. Just introduce yourself as just a person who is extending a welcoming hand, and wanting to meet the kids that roam the neighborhood.
Becky
My nine year old does. She will not cross into anyone's yard without their permission. That is how we raise our children; respect for other people and their property.
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