[Rca2000]

I am no expert, just a victim of them several times. I am not sure of the signs, 'cause they CAN come from someone who does have a vested interest in you. One thing to look out for, FOR SURE, is if a woman begins to pay undue attention to you, all of the sudden, AND she has a reputation of a "man eater", most likely, she is playing you, AND-- DO NOT try to get together with someone who has opposing views on morality, such as Abortion, Christianity, Gays, and such, thinking that "they will change" It will NOT work, most of the time!!!

[Paul_Denton]

Victem? That mst have been very painful. Sorry to hear that :(

Undue-attention? Can you give a example? One thing I never knew to look for was her reputation of being a man-eater. But I will remember that.

No I would not do that. But belifes and morally I am I kind of an odd zone. I am pro-life except if the woman was raped, incest or her life was in danger from giving birth. I have judeao-christin beliefs but I do not go to church.

[Nowhere Man]

am no expert, just a victim of them several times. I am not sure of the signs, 'cause they CAN come from someone who does have a vested interest in you. One thing to look out for, FOR SURE, is if a woman begins to pay undue attention to you, all of the sudden, AND she has a reputation of a "man eater", most likely, she is playing you, AND-- DO NOT try to get together with someone who has opposing views on morality, such as Abortion, Christianity, Gays, and such, thinking that "they will change" It will NOT work, most of the time!!!

Getting serious for a sec, I second that idea. It is OK to remain friends but to court someone with the idea of marriage with someone who has opposite views, that will not work. I once joked, "if thath appened to me, we'd probably be tossing Matchbox cars (I collect die-cast cars with emphasis on Matchbox and Corgi and some Hot-Wheels) at each other on election night." B-) Those things hurt.

[MonicaG]

Correct... people can change, but only if they are personally A) willing to be admit the problem(s), B) willing to do the work it takes to change themselves. Hoping for someone else to change is a recipe for disaster.

[MonicaG]

I would add to Rca2000's post the suggestion that big glaring warning signs include control, emotional manipulation and neediness, i.e. women (or men) who present themselves as victims of ___(fill in the blank)__ who Need Your Help. I have a dear friend who is now in a good relationship but he was formerly involved with a woman who was a total Wallet Vampire. She played on my friend's compassion for her problems (he viewed her at the time as a victim; he's now aware that all of her problems were self-generated and self-perpetuated) and his attraction to her. I don't even know HOW much $$ he "loaned" her (he's never spoken of exact #'s), but I am so proud of him that he's learned his lesson and is now enjoying a MUCH healthier partnership.