| You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket! |
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Posted on 11/11/2005 5:33:07 AM PST by BJClinton
Proper Reply for every one of those.... Box it up and send it back you are too stupid to own a computer.
Yes it is.
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion: "If we close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows again, maybe it'll work!?"
I wonder how many times tech support wanted to tell people that?
Sniffle...thanks for trying to cheer me up....
sniffle...
| You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket! |
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What's also frustrating is calling Tech Support and trying to convince them that you aren't an idiot so that the call doesn't take forever.
Don't worry...I was socks.
I crashed... sniffle.
Come make a Doll , you'll feel better.
Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
6. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
7. If all is not lost, where is it?
8. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
9. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
10. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
11. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
12. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
13. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
14. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
15. It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been
anywhere.
16. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
17. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
18. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
20. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
21. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
22. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
Ahh...Mullets..
In the immortal words of Larry The Cable Guy..
"I don't care who ya are, that's funny."
· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
· Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it's a valuable plant.
· The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
· Life is sexually transmitted.
· Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
· Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
· Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
· Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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