Posted on 10/28/2005 2:57:17 AM PDT by shaggy eel
What I remember most about working in advertising was the pelvic power tilt. It was everywhere you looked.
Men in advertising who were into power did it; women didn't, because they weren't in power and knew they had no show of getting it. Men sat with their legs wide apart and their crotch tilted to display their lunch. It was, in a word, advertising; an assertion of dominance like a tom cat's spraying. And yes, it was kind of gross.
I thought of the pelvic power tilt this week as a big international advertising jock bit the dust – and not necessarily with utter loathing. A dose of lunatic virility can be a welcome antidote in a woman-centred world of specious universal tolerance and herbal tea.
Candour is over-rated, though there are times when its naked outrageousness is delightful – especially when it strikes from the world of paid fibbers. To hear the truth from advertising has to be a few-times-in-a-lifetime experience. It must be savoured.
The advertising guru has quit his job, it was reported, after shocking his industry at a conference in Toronto.
Neil French, a one-time matador and a world-wide creative director till this month, said women made poor executives in the industry and don't make it to the top because "they're crap".
You can imagine the hiss of breath intake at the conference, women seething and men secretly chuffed. Women, French said, are a group "that will inevitably wimp out and go suckle something," as true a statement as you'll ever hear from a zone where such beliefs are carved in invisible stone. We know what we're up against.
French, a kind of noisily imploding dinosaur at this point, is 61 and reportedly smokes cigars incessantly. What with this evidence of oral deprivation, he must have serious unresolved suckling issues himself, so we should be gentle with him.
I like reports like this from the other side, the part jocks live in. They're a reality check. The trouble is, women never seem to retaliate with equal flair. They go to government whingeing agencies instead, to lay formal complaints and feel self-righteous. Why don't we fight back on equal terms, airing our own entrenched prejudices just as vigorously? Why don't we tilt our own lunches, metaphorically speaking?
Why promote personable young men to power, we could equally ask, when at some point they're going to want to go out and shag something? Next thing you know, some woman is pregnant and having to relinquish her job, and the guy's asking for something wimpy like parental leave. Before you know it, he's turning down the excitement of working 22-hour days, and wanting to spend time with his – bleah – kids. Or maybe he gets bored and starts the whole cycle again – with a highly valued female personal assistant who's viciously underpaid, and will be impossible to replace.
Men, we'd chorus at a truth-saying conference of our own. They're hopeless troublemakers, lazy bums, shagaholics who can't keep it in their pants.
Avoid hiring good-looking young men especially, we'd insist. They create undercurrents in the office, with all the women and half the men constantly distracted and wanting to flirt with them. The best bet for a top job is always an ugly single woman, one who realistically has no chance of scoring a job elsewhere because of her foul personality. She'll always be a surrogate mate to an appreciative boss, but never need a real mate. Perfect.
What you want ideally, we'd say, is employees to promote who don't have relationships at all. Lesbians and gays could be theoretically a good idea, but unfortunately they, too, team up eventually. Then they need compassionate leave for dealing with sick cats, or curtain-choosing crises, which makes them almost as crap as men.
Only a hideous woman is truly loyal and faithful and will make it to the upper echelons of power, we'd say, and boy, do women ever love those managerial bonding exercises! They'll give their all to let their natural bossiness loose on subordinates. Men, by comparison, just take to having long lunches on expense accounts, and slope off when they ought to be signing something.
Men, we'd say, are universally propped up in their top jobs by teams of women whose names they mostly can't be bothered to remember even if, as is usually the case, they're shagging one of them. They are windbags of false advertising. We may suckle, we could say, but they suck.
Funny article.
This is a really, really bitter woman!
Very probably, but it's still funny.
If anyone in management tried this on me, they'll get a size 9 assertion of dominance.
Hey, how did they find out about my employer's hiring philosophy? LOL!
I'm not sure what she is, but she appears to give the FemiNazis hell as well.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/sundaystartimes/0,2106,3303323a6619,00.html
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.