Wow, I don't feel so bad now. My 2 yr old managed to write with Sharpie all over my leather ottoman and the $3000 flat screen tv today.
"I guess it only is fair,..."
Indeed, your parents' wish has come true.
Well, my kid was pretty good, never put nothing up her nose but her finger. And didn't start to put things in her mouth until she was about 8. I yelled at her about that: Why didn't you do that when you were two and I was watching for it?!?!?
But I remember my mom telling me about her older sister, who once put a string bean up her nose, which then began to grow! Don't know if this is really true or not, my mom has passed on, but her sister is about 87 years old now, and even served in WWII, so she survived!
Back in preschool they had "bean tables" (like water tables, but without the mess) where kids could play. Well, the teacher had told me, "everything I say goes in one ear and out the other!" So I conducted an experiment. I stuck a bean in my ear thinking it would fall out the other ear!
The school called my mother and she took me to the hospital. She banged on the side of me head in front of the nurse and it fell out! Mom was not happy...
...Twenty plus years later and still getting laughed at for that one.
When we were six, I was playing with my cousin and he stuck a drum stick in his ear for some reason. Punctured his eardrum.
My 25 yr. old son stuck a stone up his nose and to this day he SWEARS it's still there.
I must be a horrible parent or just have very accident prone children. We'll start with my six year old:
At a year and a half he fell and hit his nose on an end table causing a scar across the top of his nose. Then at two he stuck the wheel to a hot wheels car up his nose. We took him to the emergency room. My sister had to hold him while the doctor pulled it out with what looked like a crochet hook. Then a year later he fell going up the ladder to a sliding board and cut the bottom of his nose causing him to get black stitches. He looked like Hitler! Then just a few months ago he was running to get off the bus, slipped on some gravel and cracked his head on the pavement. He blacked out and quit breathing for two minutes!
Now for the younger son who is 4. When he was two he swallowed a penny, we think on a dare from the older child. We had to root through his poop for a week before he passed it. He really enjoyed when the doctor used a hand-held metal detector. He'd giggle everytime it beeped at his belly. Less than a year later he and his brother were shoving each other at my dads barn. Well the older brother moved out of the way and he went careening into some corrugated metal siding, gashing his head open. Since he was too young for stitches he had to be glued. Then the other day, Sunday, he decided he was a big boy and didn't need to wait for the babysitter so he crossed the main road to the convenience store in our little quiet neighborhood to buy himself some candy. The babysitter found him two minutes later sitting on the store's outside bench eating a lollipop. It was our fault, she was talking to us on the phone about what a good boy he was being..... HUHUHUHUH.
My mother-in-law is a pediatric nurse, and she has many stories to tell. Of course, our children have done quite enough of shoving things in different orifices, but I don't want to think about our youngest two doing anything similar at this moment, so I won't mention our personal stories. However, m-i-l told us one of the funniest incidences they had at their office. I guess this little boy decided to shove a Matchbox car up his nostril. Somehow, he managed to do it, and of course, it got stuck. Mom and Dad try to figure out how to get the car out to no avail. I guess they took the kid in, and the car was removed. When they got home, Dad's curiosity overtook him. He wanted to know how the kid could get a Matchbox car up his nose, so he tried it himself. Voila! He did it, too! And it got stuck. lol. He had to go to the emergency room with a toy car stuck up his nose, and they had to do surgery to get it out. Not a lot of brains in that family. lol
When I was really young, I found a pretty green bead. Now, I knew my parents would never let me keep it because it was dangerous and I wasn't allowed to have small stuff. But I knew I could handle it safely, so I decided to find a hiding place.
What better hiding place than one that's always with me? Perfect! ...and up my nose it went.
My pediatrician removed it with tweezers. Surprisingly, once it was retrieved, my parents wouldn't let me keep it(!). Go figure.