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I must be a horrible parent or just have very accident prone children. We'll start with my six year old:
At a year and a half he fell and hit his nose on an end table causing a scar across the top of his nose. Then at two he stuck the wheel to a hot wheels car up his nose. We took him to the emergency room. My sister had to hold him while the doctor pulled it out with what looked like a crochet hook. Then a year later he fell going up the ladder to a sliding board and cut the bottom of his nose causing him to get black stitches. He looked like Hitler! Then just a few months ago he was running to get off the bus, slipped on some gravel and cracked his head on the pavement. He blacked out and quit breathing for two minutes!

Now for the younger son who is 4. When he was two he swallowed a penny, we think on a dare from the older child. We had to root through his poop for a week before he passed it. He really enjoyed when the doctor used a hand-held metal detector. He'd giggle everytime it beeped at his belly. Less than a year later he and his brother were shoving each other at my dads barn. Well the older brother moved out of the way and he went careening into some corrugated metal siding, gashing his head open. Since he was too young for stitches he had to be glued. Then the other day, Sunday, he decided he was a big boy and didn't need to wait for the babysitter so he crossed the main road to the convenience store in our little quiet neighborhood to buy himself some candy. The babysitter found him two minutes later sitting on the store's outside bench eating a lollipop. It was our fault, she was talking to us on the phone about what a good boy he was being..... HUHUHUHUH.

Wow, I don't really know what I'm in for then! When my daughter was 1 1/2, she found a wine bottle filled with candle oil. I still don't know how she managed to drink it, but my husband looked down (yep, he was right there!) and saw her with the bottle and asked my what was in it. I looked at the bottle and thought, oh my god, I hope that's wine... but it wasn't.

My husband called Poison Control who told us that she wasn't going to die from it, but to take her to the hospital if she started coughing violently. She didn't, BUT she did start coughing and we got scared, so we took her to the hospital anyway. They did an XRay on her to make sure she hadn't aspirated any of the oil into her lungs.

Lo and behold, the XRay showed that she had very early stage Pneumonia. We were pretty shocked because she had no symptoms. Then we had to tell the doctor why we brought her in. He laughed at us, and told us that candle oil isn't going to kill her, but that it was a good thing we brought her in becuase the Pneumonia would have made her very sick.

You just never know.

Then there's the ice cream incident...

I left some ice cream on the counter and it melted so we tossed it. My daughter decided to get it out of the garbage, and she drops it on the kitchen floor. Melted ice cream EVERYWHERE! So I go to get the mop, and come back to find my dogs and little girl on her belly licking up the melted ice cream! I couldn't help but laugh, it was the funniest sight!

BUT...

My husband later that week was mopping the floor, and my daughter tried to pull the same trick with the Pine Sol. Fortunately, we realized what she was trying to do BEFORE she got to taste the cleaner.

Ah, Kids!

Your kids sound like mine. About two weeks after we brought our adopted sons home (5 and 6 six years old), they were playing on the wonderful new swingset we got for them. The really nice one, made out of cedar 4x4's. Older brother decided to play "helicopter" with the younger one - made him lie on his stomach on the swing and wound him up. Our neighbor over the fence said she heard something like a pumpkin being hit with a baseball bat and looked over the fence to see son #2 splayed out on the ground, out cold after spinning his head into the cedar 4x4. I always thought "goose egg" was a figure of speech - its not. We got some looks from the emergency room folks that day, but fortunately, my wife's sister is an ER nurse so we dropped her name and got a pass.

Sons 1 and 2 got into a sword fight with sticks. This time it was son 1 who made the trip to the hospital - impaled through the leg by the jaunty lunge of his brother. 28 stitches (including muscles!). Let's move on.

Innocent two year old daughter puts the eraser from the end of a pencil up her nose. Tweezers don't work. A straw duct-taped to the end of the vacuum cleaner hose didn't work either (that was my idea - I could have sworn that was going to do it...). Nurse at hospital teaches daughter to close nostril and blow. The eraser flew 15 feet according to the nurse. Not bad for a little kid.

Hubby's exboss's 3-year-old (at the time) decided he would go to his friend's house to play. The problem was that the friend lived several blocks away and on the other side of a very high traffic intersection. The child left his house on his tricycle BUCK NAKED except for the cowboy hat on his head. He then crossed the major intersection, and I'm not sure exactly how the child was found by his parents. I could never get past the naked child crossing the major intersection on the tricycle part. The child is still alive today. He must be around six or seven.