You smell that? Do you smell that? Hoppes #9, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of Hoppes #9 in the morning... The smell, you know that copper solvent smell.. Smells like... I'm gettin' lucky tonight!
Posted on 10/18/2005 7:33:09 AM PDT by NewHampshireDuo
Today, I smell like wild rain.
It’s not because of all the wet weather we’ve had lately. It’s my deodorant, Wild Rain, one of several scent options available by Gillette. I’m afraid if I start perspiring too much, wild rain could turn into acid rain.
Have you looked at the antiperspirant section of your supermarket lately?
Even your father’s favorite brand, Old Spice, is getting into the foofy-smell-for-men act. Back in the day, our dads smelled like their jobs: factory guy, bakery man and so on. Today’s septic worker can carry the Old Spice aroma of Glacial Falls while pumping your tank.
“Gee, Bruce, I’d swear you smell like an Alaskan iceberg this morning,” a co-worker might say.
“Thanks for noticing,” Bruce will reply with pride. “I’m wearing Glacial Falls by Old Spice.” When Bruce gets bored with that scent, he can slap some Mountain Rush under his arms and smell like a wealthy skier from Lake Tahoe.
At the other theme extreme is a brand for younger men called Tag, a body spray for men. Tag’s slogan reads “Uniquely designed to attract the ladies.” Clearly, this is not your father’s deodorant. Tag’s scents include First Move, Lucky Day and After Hours. I wonder if Tag comes with a money-back guarantee for the poor slob who can’t get jiggy after plastering his pores with Lucky Day.
Right Guard Power Stripe goes straight for the man whose testosterone is about to run amok. Overdrive, Accelerate and Adrenaline are your choices. Sounds like this stuff should be banned by Major League Baseball. I can hear it now. Rafael Palmeiro breaks down while Congress browbeats him for a confession. “Yes! Yes, Senator Kennedy! I stole second base after using Accelerate,” he’ll sob uncontrollably.
I kind of wonder if the Weather Channel is behind the Gillette series of underarm deodorants. “Now let’s go to Jim Cantore in New Orleans, who today is wearing Storm Force by Gillette.”
Do we really need all these emasculating smells for men? If women knew we were slathering Arctic Peak on our hard bodies after a morning shower, we’d be laughed out the front door. I doubt John Wayne was ever caught wearing Cool Fusion or Avalanche as he patrolled the wide west. Of course, John spent more time with his horse than women. That’s a column for another day.
Even Tom’s of Maine has jumped on the bandwagon, with aromas such as Woodspice and Lemongrass. Huh? Lemongrass? Shouldn’t Tom’s be thinking more along the lines of Lobster Bisque or Moxie Musk? What Maine man would be caught wearing Lemongrass? Or is that a chick scent?
Incidentally, I happened to notice the deodorant section is made up of about 75 percent male products. The gals get Lady Speed Stick with Satin Pear and Passion Flower. Because women are in touch with their emotions, Secret sells Ambition and Optimism.
Maybe I won’t wear any deodorant tomorrow. The only one who won’t care will be John Wayne’s horse.
Hear Mike Morin weekdays from 5-10 a.m. on “New Hampshire in the Morning” on 95.7 WZID. Contact him at Heymikey@aol.com.
Watch out... you'll draw the stone-the-metrosexuals crowd, and that means long tracts on how everyone should smell like motor oil and people who comb their hair are sodomites.
I prefer my old five day pad on the 7th day fragrance.
You smell that? Do you smell that? Hoppes #9, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of Hoppes #9 in the morning... The smell, you know that copper solvent smell.. Smells like... I'm gettin' lucky tonight!
"If women knew we were slathering Arctic Peak on our hard bodies after a morning shower, we’d be laughed out the front door."
Its for and by women that this is being done, not for us men. What do you think those women in the boardrooms and corproate offices do all day...fix coffee?
They want you wussies to slather as much scent as women do.
Its manipulation and was admitted as such when Nivea started this crap years ago. They bombed with their make up for men...tho some use it...but the scent thing is gaining some ground.
Letting women into formerly male bastions has led to all manner of attempts at "wussification" on all levels. Its certainly ruined journalism, commercial advertising, law, everything it has touched.
imho.
Maybe not combing, but I'd lay long odds on those who "manscape".
Charlie don't surf, and he smells like fisheads!
. I'll bump to that!
Old Spice "Metallic Ice",with contolled release technology of course,is my fave...with a few compliments of the ladies...and is available right next to the "Old" stuff at my local Walmart.
It used to be women that stunk up the elevator with their morning dip in the $1.00/gallon perfume, now men are just as bad.
I dont buy into all the foo-foo garbage. That's why I wear Elk scent.
my shampoo is apple (the cheap stuff), deoderant is degree shower fresh, my shaving cream is burma shave aloe vera, and my soap is pure & natural. I got a woman who cooks and cleans for me. I am happy.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.