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To: MozartLover; blau993; ItsOurTimeNow; Chanticleer; trac220; Robert Warren Linville; EmilyGeiger; ...

TGIF guys!


4 posted on 10/14/2005 5:57:09 AM PDT by BJClinton (I once ate a whole pound of peanut butter.)
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To: BJClinton

ver spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back or crawl into a hole? Here are 6 Testimonials of people who did.

FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.? After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.? I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." ?My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent up energy and run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.? Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?? My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.? While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.". Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.? So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?". This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing , he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... a true story. We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now didn't that feel good?! Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh !!!


8 posted on 10/14/2005 5:58:05 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (Want to be on my Civil Engineers ping list? Say the word!)
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To: BJClinton

TGIF!


10 posted on 10/14/2005 5:58:37 AM PDT by Michael Goldsberry (an enemy of islam -- Joe Boucher; Leapfrog; Dr.Zoidberg; Lazamataz; ...)
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To: BJClinton


Re: your tagline,,,,mmmmmmmm, peanut butter, have you tried it slathered on apple quarters, mmmmmmmmm!

Wooohooooooooo, it's Friday!!!!!!!


40 posted on 10/14/2005 6:19:23 AM PDT by rockabyebaby (I'm not afraid to say out loud what the rest of you are afraid to admit.)
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To: BJClinton

In before the 300 post.


53 posted on 10/14/2005 6:32:22 AM PDT by TASMANIANRED (Nagin Cried, People died.)
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To: BJClinton

TFTP. In the top 100!


56 posted on 10/14/2005 6:37:37 AM PDT by secret garden (<= easily amused)
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To: BJClinton; PaulaB; najida

Why is it Southern girls don't like being asked to an orgie?



Because they hate having to write all those thank you letters.


109 posted on 10/14/2005 7:17:11 AM PDT by peacebaby (Wasting my time standing in the waiting line.)
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