Posted on 09/27/2005 12:37:14 PM PDT by pissant
We've all sat through many movies that we've deemed a total waste of time. For guys, it's usually when your better half drags you to a hideous chick-flick. For the gals, it's usually having to sit thru gangster movies on Turner Classic Movies with hubby.
But one thing both men and women agree on is that Hollywood has a knack of putting at least one actor in every movie that is horribly miscast! Here at the Pissant Univeristy for Knowledge & Entertainment Studies (PUKES) we've compiled the top 7 miscast thesbians in Hollywood history!
Top 7 Movie Miscasts
7. Will Smith as James West in Wild, Wild West
I only lasted 20 minutes because of this royal screwup.
6. Mark Hammill as Luke Skywalker in Star Wars
Way too wimpy and annoying
5. Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in 007's The World is not Enough
Nuclear scientist? She ruined the movie
4. Colin Ferrell as Alexander in ALexander
Any military leader that looked like such a wuss would have been murdered by his generals in a nanosecond.
3. Ali McGraw as some chick in Love Story
As exciting as peeling paint
2. Brad Pitt as some dude in the Fight Club
About as believable being a toughie as I am being a ballerina
1. John Wayne as Ghengis Khan in The Conqueror
A cowboy Chinaman? Yikes. Though I did enjoy it for some reason.
Top 7 Movie Miscasts
7. Will Smith as James West in Wild, Wild West
Robert Conrad (who played G Gordon Liddy in the movie Will), who played West in the original series, objected to Will Smith as James West. It wasn't because Smith is black, but because what his show was known for was the actors doing their own stunts (he has the scars and healed broken bones to prove it). He said that there's only one current actor who could believably play James West: Jackie Chan. Smith would have been good for Artemus Gordon (better than Kline).
6. Mark Hammill as Luke Skywalker in Star Wars
True, only if you ignore what Lucas was doing with Star Wars. He was making a new serial, like the ones he grew up with. Think of Buster Crabbe as Flash Gordon. Hammill was perfect casting.
5. Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in 007's The World is not Enough
She was perfect eye candy. Her being a nuclear scientist was the best joke in the movie.
4. Colin Ferrell as Alexander in Alexander
Two movies about Alexander and both of them sucked. Who could have thought that?
3. Ali McGraw as some chick in Love Story
I met Erich Segal when I was a high school visiting my sister in college where he was the (coed) dorm faculty supervisor. He tried to pick me up. Explains everything you need to know about the book and the movie. Oh, and Al Gore claimed that he provided Segal the inspiration for the guy, Oliver Barrett IV, when he was at the same school (and Al was rooming with Tommy Lee Jones). The mind boggles
2. Brad Pitt as some dude in the Fight Club
But he made a very good imaginary friend for Ed Norton. When you think of Norton's character, Pitt is exactly the kind of imaginary character he would have dreamed up.
1. John Wayne as Ghengis Khan in The Conqueror
John Wayne, Susan Hayward, Agnes Moorhead, Pedro Armendariz and producer/director Dick Powell, all died of cancer (Armendariz killed himself after being diagnosed with multiple cancers), often blamed on having filmed that movie down wind in the fallout pattern from the above ground nuclear tests outside Las Vegas. I think the movie was a bad decision all around, but Genghis Khan was definitely a "cowboy" (or a yak boy) and he wasn't a "chinaman." He was a Mongol. Getting that mixed up in front of a Mongol will get you dead almost as fast as calling a Korean "Japanese."
Of course we are!
Way smarter too.
An Englishman playing a Texan is also silly - Michael Caine in Secondhand Lions.
English girl Hayley Mills playing the twin daughters of Brian Keith and Maureen O'Hara in the original Parent Trap.
Tony Curtis was pretty bad in Taras Bulba with Yul Brynner. That was about cossacks I think.
I think they must have bought Vaseline by the barrel to smear over the lenses every time Redford was on camera in the Horse Whisperer.
Rosie O'Donnell as Arnold the Pig in Green Acres... Oh wait, that was the roll she was born to play.
Robin Williams in anything after "Good Morning Vietnam".
De Caprio was awful..horrible..most people didn't realize he was sooooooo bad because Kate Blanchett's Hepburn was so incredibly good..everyone was watching her, not him..
Willem Dafoe as John Clark (aka John Kelly) in Clear and Present Danger. Ruined the whole movie for me...I've had a huge crush on Clark since I met him in the books and Dafoe is NOT Clark.
Alec Baldwin and Ben Affleck were bad choices as well. Those three were an affront to all Clancy books.
Agreed:
We don't go to Bond movies for great acting or believable stories.
We go for incredible chases, cool gadgets, and hot leading ladies. Personally, I thought Halle Barry was a bigger casting blunder than Denise R - I still don't understand the Halle Barry hype - she's an average actress of barely better than average looks - but that's just me.
My Casting Malfunctions:
#1: Keanau Reeves as anyone who is supposed to have a modicum of intelligence.
#2: Demi Moore in anything related to the military.
#3: George Clooney in anything lasting longer than 60 mins or that doesn't include commercials.
#4: Leonardo DiCaprio - period.
#5: Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan - horrid.
#6: Ben Stiller as anything other than Leonardo DiCaprio's boyfriend.
I don't know who she is, but there could be nothing wrong with anything she ever did, does or will do!
Well they were good in prospector roles, jus BAD singin! Hey they sang like real prospectors too! LOL.
The vikings was just cool... Kirk Douglas running the oars!
"About Schmidt."
Ooh, that Bates woman put me off my feed for a week!
ok...
I actually enjoyed John Wayne as the Roman centurion in "The Greatest Story Ever Told", when he drawled that "Truly, this man was the Son of God", but it was HORRIBLE casting, LOL!
Keanu Reeves in anything. Ditto Tom Cruise.
Sean Connery in "Entrapment". Please, dear heavens, no.
Whoever they got to replace Richard Harris as Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movies.
The girl who played the love interest of Heath Ledger in "A Knight's Tale".
Gwyneth Paltrow in "Shakespeare in Love", or "A Perfect Murder". Worst.actress.to.win.an.Oscar.ever
:o( I love that duck!!
MM
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