[kx9088]

And it will be federally mandated that all users of sporks and forks will have to undergo 3 weeks of assault weapons training.

[Redcitizen]

Background checks will conducted of kindergartens to see if concealed fork carriers ever poked thier classmates at recess with any forks.


It will also be federally mandated that anyone with a felony record cannot own forks and sporks of any type.