I'm the one with the cigar.
I still say there was something not quite right about that boy.
Posted on 09/22/2005 7:34:52 AM PDT by pissant
Most of us remember the excitement of the BIG DAY. That day, after living in your parents' home for 18 (in some cases 25) years, we finally asserted our independence and moved out of the house!
Whether we were heading off to the "city" to work, or starting our college lives, joining the armed forces, or just finding a space so we could party with our friends, the sense of finally being an adult was intoxicating.
Then Reality set in. We quickly realized that the paltry money we were earning barely covered the rent. Top Ramen instead of Mom's potroast, generic Corn Flakes instead of Captain Crunch. The solution to this problem, of course, was roommates.....at least in theory.
Since we've all survived those crazy days between leaving home and getting married, it is time to share the tales of Roommate Horror!
I'll start.....
Hmmmmm. Not so sure of the masculinity of male harem members though.
The woman (and I use the term loosely) I shared a bedroom with was a sullen-faced ogre, always in a grumpy mood. While the other roommates and I eventually managed to get along, she and I never stopped clashing. She was hostile to me from day one. I could never figure out quite why, though I got the impression that she really didn't like the fact that I was religious (although we were all students from Notre Dame, very few of the folks studying abroad that semester were practicing Catholics). We were in Rome on 9/11 and at the end of that awful day, I asked her if she'd like to pray a rosary with me. She acted quite offended by this simple invitation and snarled her negative reply.
As the semester went on she grew more and more hostile. She would snap at me over minor things but say nothing when the other roommates did the very same thing. For instance, I once left an unwashed spoon in the sink overnight. I shouldn't have done it and she practically bit my head off the next day. However, later the other roomies made fried eggs and left the eggy pan and dishes in the sink for a whole weekend while they traveled to Greece. The ogre said nothing to them about this.
The worst incident happened later in the semester. It was early in the morning, around 6:30, and my roommate's alarm clock went off. It woke me up as well. She shut it off and went back to sleep. About 20 minutes later, my own alarm clock went off. I shut it off, got up, and went to take a shower.
When I got back from my shower, my roommate was up and furious. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she fumed "Don't you know I have class this morning? I need to take a shower first to get to class on time!"
I apologized but said that I thought she wasn't getting up for much longer because she shut off her alarm. I had an early class too and needed to shower early as well. This did not placate her. "You knew I had class this morning and needed to take a shower first!!"
I pointed out that I did not know she had class this morning; she had never told me her class schedule and considering that she skipped class on a regular basis either to travel or sleep off hangovers, how was I supposed to figure it out on my own? How, I asked her, was I supposed to know that this wasn't one of those mornings you were going to sleep in and cut class? Furthermore, if she was in such a hurry, why didn't she get up when the alarm went off?
Reasoning with the ogre made no difference, she only grew more angry. "No! You knew I had class and you wanted me to be late! You stole my shower!"
I tried to calm her down, apologize again, but explain that this was not a deliberate attempt to sabotage her. "F--k you!" she replied, "You stole my shower! You are a f--king b--ch. You are such a f--king b--ch! You're stupid and dirty and you're the most self-centered person I've ever met. F--k you!"
At this point the other roommates woke up and blamed me for making so much noise. I was really shaken and upset by the incident and was crying on the subway that morning on the way to class. For the rest of the semester I tried to spend as little time as possible in that apartment - and I wasn't spending much time there to begin with.
I returned to Notre Dame for the second semester of that year, but the ogre remained in Rome. I didn't see her again til fall of the next year on campus. By this point she had a mullet. It surprised me at first, but suddenly a lot of things made sense. Little things that she had said and done in Rome started to make sense and I realized she was probably a lesbian. I didn't have any idea at the time, when I shared a room with her and undressed in front of her . But now it made sense, especially because she was dating a female acquaintance of mine who I'd always suspected might be a lesbian. I don't know if her lesbianism had anything to do with her hostility towards me, but it added an interesting facet to the whole story.
I think she joined the Peace Corps after graduation.
No, earlier. In 5th grade I was the BMOC after school at the local Jr. High. ;o)
Lets call them "my fans" or "my peeps".
;-)
What can I say?
I married mine.
It wasn't heroin, it was OxyContin, and it wasn't my girlfriend, it was my fiance.
WOW. That's a hell of a story. I think the lesbian angle explains alot.
I'm guessign you are reasonably attractive and get lotsa male attention? Nothing pisses an angry feminist dyke off more than that. That being said, there are plenty of very nice lesbos out there too.
Nope, I have never lived with a chickie. Galpals can come over and are free to act like they own the place, but I wouldn't open-end cohabitate with a woman unless we were married. Call me old fashioned!
I would gladly join, but you know my "lion" philosophy! ;o)
LOL. OUCH!!
So THAT'S when it all started....
Old fashioned, my ass. You just need the space for your other galpals. LOL
Haha! Nah, I'm a one-woman man, but the night is young, after all! :-)
I'm the one with the cigar.
I still say there was something not quite right about that boy.
"My harem is bigger than yours."
Especially considering the photo...that's WAAAAAAAAAAAY TMI.
;^)
Well Doc, let me tell you about when it really got started.....
I wouldn't have wanted to pass out around him. ;o)
Hmmmmmm. What say you, Jeeves?
I KNEW you would show up......
There's a pic of Dasher somewhere???
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.