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Roommates From Hell (vanity)
PA TImes | 9/22/05 | Dr. Pissant

Posted on 09/22/2005 7:34:52 AM PDT by pissant

Most of us remember the excitement of the BIG DAY. That day, after living in your parents' home for 18 (in some cases 25) years, we finally asserted our independence and moved out of the house!

Whether we were heading off to the "city" to work, or starting our college lives, joining the armed forces, or just finding a space so we could party with our friends, the sense of finally being an adult was intoxicating.

Then Reality set in. We quickly realized that the paltry money we were earning barely covered the rent. Top Ramen instead of Mom's potroast, generic Corn Flakes instead of Captain Crunch. The solution to this problem, of course, was roommates.....at least in theory.

Since we've all survived those crazy days between leaving home and getting married, it is time to share the tales of Roommate Horror!

I'll start.....


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Food
KEYWORDS: badroommates; roommates; yikes
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For my second year of college, I decided to get out of the dingy, $275 month studio I was renting and, together with two new-found friends, rent a house. All was great at first. Joe (big Hispanic guy from El Paso) was always at his girlfriend's place and Tracy (a feller) was a fun guy to drink with.

After a couple of months I noticed a trend. Tracy NEVER cleaned up after himself. Not the bathroom, not the living room , and certainly not the kitchen. I'm no clean freak, but he made Oscar Madison look like June Cleaver.

I decided to experiment. I quit doing the dishes altogether to see how long before Tracy brokedown and started scrubbing. After a week, no luck. After two weeks the stench was appaling in the kitchen, as nearly evey dish in the house sat in a sink of moldy water. The next day, after he left for work, I put the most rancid dishes in a box and slid them under his bed.

He never said a word about it, I never saw those dishes again, and Tracy moved out 2 months later.

1 posted on 09/22/2005 7:34:53 AM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant

When I found out my last roommate was doing heroin in his bedroom with his girlfriend I swore I would never have another roommate the rest of my life..


2 posted on 09/22/2005 7:46:57 AM PDT by Xenophobic Alien ("It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level.")
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To: Xenophobic Alien

Yikes. I hope you parted company quickly!


3 posted on 09/22/2005 7:51:40 AM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant
My biggest mismatch was my freshman roommate in the college dorm. He was actually a very good man and today we would likely get along fine. His 5AM wakeup alarm and the 1/2 hour of calisthenics in the small room were a bit much for me, who had just arrived home from a tough night of poker & beer 2 hours earlier...
I took an apartment my sophomore year.
He ended up making General in the US Army.
4 posted on 09/22/2005 7:54:29 AM PDT by Knute (W- Yep, He's STILL the President!)
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To: pissant

Yea I kicked him out the next week and he stole my vacuum. I sure miss that vacuum :(


5 posted on 09/22/2005 7:57:34 AM PDT by Xenophobic Alien ("It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level.")
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To: Knute

That would be annoying, but at least he wasn't like Xenophobic Alien's roomie! ;o)


6 posted on 09/22/2005 7:59:33 AM PDT by pissant
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To: Xenophobic Alien

LOL. Bastard!


7 posted on 09/22/2005 8:00:27 AM PDT by pissant
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To: Xenophobic Alien

Vacuum thieves suck.


8 posted on 09/22/2005 8:02:51 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Now that taglines are cool, I refuse to have one.)
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To: pissant
My last year in college, we had 6 guys in an apartment. Luckily we had 2 bathrooms, so 3 of us kept ours relatively clean, but the other had stuff growing in it and was used by the other us only in dire emergencies... But, the kitchen was another thing and we had only one of those of course.

One roommate in particular was fairly gross. He would cook a hamburger in a small pan, then simply rinse it under hot water and put the pan back in the cupboard... Needless to say, not very clean at all. He didn't even tuck his sheets in his bed.

After trying to tell him to clean up his act with no success we had to take desperate action. Actually, it was more to get back at him.

We were making brownies one night and the perp roommate was at the library and the rest of us were there. While making the brownies another roommate figured that we should make an extra batch with chocolate Exlax in it. So we figured a couple of pieces of it would get the job done, but another roommate (who we considered kind of crazy, but a good guy) decided to double the Exlax dosage.

The slob roommate arrived home in the evening and scarfed down the brownies without hesitation.

Around 5:30 am the next day, we woke up when we heard noises coming from the gross bathroom and you can imagine what noises they were. I was laughing and crying so hard that I had to bury my head in the pillow. Needless to say, he didn't make it to the bathroom before getting some on his sheets.... And during our 3 o'clock class (5 out of the 6 of us where in), he said he was hitting the can all day... And to top it off, he had 3 interviews that day. Mission accomplished.

9 posted on 09/22/2005 8:03:32 AM PDT by b4its2late (FOOTBALL REFEREES: Best seat in the house, and we're paid to be there.)
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To: b4its2late

ROFLMAO. PERFECT!


10 posted on 09/22/2005 8:07:41 AM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant

I was the roommate from hell.


11 posted on 09/22/2005 8:13:07 AM PDT by LongElegantLegs (Fines for excess bleeding.)
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To: LongElegantLegs

Your name wasn't Tracy before the surgery, was it? LOL


12 posted on 09/22/2005 8:14:23 AM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant
Nah, I was never filthy; But I did come in drunk (and singing) most nights. I enjoy music that most people find annoying; I used to gross out one roommate just by eating tofu.
It's tough being the roommate from hell, but just think how much better their lives were after living with me for a year...
13 posted on 09/22/2005 8:19:38 AM PDT by LongElegantLegs (Fines for excess bleeding.)
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To: pissant

I almost forgot about this one..

For a year while in the navy I lived in the barracks, I ended up being forced to be roomates with this young black guy (I was 26 he was 19). This was the first time he had been away from mommy and boy did it show. Some of the things I remember that he would do (remember this was 13 years ago).

1. He would suck his thumb constantly.

2. He would get up early in the morning for work and get off around 2pm. He would then turn on the heat and crawl under a blanket to take a nap. Now you have to understand we were stationed if Florida and this was the middle of the summer. 100f outside and he has the heat on!

Thats all I can remember right now but I'm sure there is more.


14 posted on 09/22/2005 8:33:41 AM PDT by Xenophobic Alien ("It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level.")
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To: pissant

I think I may have been a roomie from hell at one point in my life...

I was quite popular in college - as an athlete, I knew the entire football team (not bibically, fyi) and all of the football alums who were now in the NFL.

Our state had "blue laws" which prevented alcohol to be purchased after 11:59 on Saturday until Monday at noon. So, I would have a keg delivered at 11:58 and we partied until it was done.

I remember my neighbors putting a sign on their front door that read, "Dasher lives three doors down" with an arrow.

At times - there were cars parked all over the place...

Oh well... they should have been happy to know me!

;^)


15 posted on 09/22/2005 8:44:39 AM PDT by Dashing Dasher (There are things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few catch your heart. Pursue those!)
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To: Dashing Dasher
I was quite popular in college - as an athlete, I knew the entire football team (not bibically, fyi)

A likely story.

16 posted on 09/22/2005 8:49:53 AM PDT by martin_fierro (We few. We silly few.)
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To: martin_fierro

Jealous!?


17 posted on 09/22/2005 8:50:07 AM PDT by Dashing Dasher (There are things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few catch your heart. Pursue those!)
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To: pissant
it is time to share the tales of Roommate Horror!

My first wife.

18 posted on 09/22/2005 8:50:52 AM PDT by cowboyway (My heroes have always been cowboys.)
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To: Xenophobic Alien

Hopefully, the Navy made a man out of him!


19 posted on 09/22/2005 8:51:22 AM PDT by pissant
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To: Dashing Dasher
I was quite popular in college

What happened??? ;o)

20 posted on 09/22/2005 8:52:15 AM PDT by pissant
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