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(At the Drive-In)
And now for a preview of our coming attractions…

Man Ho! Productions presents:
Eric Johns and Chuck U. Farley
In the south seas saga
“BUGGERY ON THE HIGH SEAS”

Captain: “Hoist that scurvy dog from the yardarm!”
Sailor: “Aye, Captain!”
Captain: “Yeoman Bosuns”
Yeoman: “Sir!”
Captain: “Read the charges.”
Yeoman: “Aye Captain! Seaman Kelly! You have been charged with the heinous crime of buggery on the high seas. How do you plead?”
Kelly: (Whimpering) “I’m innocent, I’m innocent, you gotta believe me.”
Accuser: (Effeminate sounding) “He’s lying.”
Kelly: “I am not!!!”
Accuser: “You are so you big fibber!!”
Kelly: “You better watch out or I’m gonna get you.”
Accuser: “You already did, that’s why you’re in trouble now.”
Captain: “SHUT UP!!”
Accuser: “But he’s a big fibber, he’s lying!!”
Captain: “Shut up or you’ll get what he’s getting.”
Accuser: “And what’s that?”
Captain: “Fifty lashes with a cat-o-nine-tails!”
Accuser: “FIFTY LASHES?!! He should get at least a hundred for what he did to me, the big fibber, you liar liar liar.”
Captain: “Hoist that scurvy dog from the yardarm!”
Accuser: “Ow!!! You’re hurting my wrists!!! Hey this isn’t funny now you guys” (Sound of cloth being torn) “Oh, rip the shirt, how cliché. I suppose you’ll have me walk the plank next of something.”
Captain: “Take that you DOG!!!” (Sound of whip)
Accuser (after each lashing): “Ow! Oh! Oooh! Oh yeah!! Yeah, yeah!!” (Fade out)

That is our show for the evening. Please leave by the exit and don’t forget the speakers.