Posted on 09/07/2005 7:14:10 PM PDT by Brainhose
OK Here we go
Readers Digest Condensed Version:
Peddalling thru Boston Common on Monday
I saw a table pushing Scientology. I was in a playful mood so I stopped.
There was one of Them giving someone a "Free Stress Test".
He had this guy holding what looked like an unpainted soda can
with a wire to a video game console.
I couldn't help but ask:"You do realize that this is a cult?"
I got just the type of reaction I hoped.
It turns out the guy taking the test was actually one of Them
The lead cultist got very angry and his only response was:
"What Crimes Have You Commited?" He asked me that about 4 times.
I told him that I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Him: "Aha, I knew you commited crimes!"
Me: "But when I sat in Folsom Prison I hung My Head And Cried."
Him: "What other crimes have you comitted?"
Well it went on for a while. after qouting several lines from other Johnny Cash Songs,
and using the old Time-Life Western Books line: "I once shot a man for snoring too loud"
After he seemed very smug that I had confessed to "Crimes".
I pointed out that I had been quoting Johnny Cash and he just about went completely
insane and said I needed to take his stress test. I was very calm and suggested he needed to take the test
himself. .
I brought up the fact that Scientology was based on a crappy science-fiction book written in the 50's,
and perhaps if we could find a couch, he could hop up and down on it like Tom Cruise on Oprah..
He wouldn't take a poke at me, which is what I wanted, though I would never hit back.
He ordered me to leave a public park because I had no right to be there.
Yada-yada-yada....... he ordered me out of the park about 5 or 6 more times.
He then said he was going to "Get a Ranger" I said "Go right ahead Boo-Boo get a ranger".
He walked away and disappeared around a corner. I actually had to find the police myself.
The police thought the whole thing was pretty funny. one said:"Everyone knows it's a scam. you've had some fun"
It was great fun. I stopped and bought a hotdog and listened to a Bluegrass band for a while.
All in all a very successful day
And that was the condensed version, "Believe it or not!"
Now how did you know that I needed a laugh tonight?
Just having some fun with people, that's all. Another one of my faves, if I amin a particular mood that day, is when someone approaches me on the stree, and it could be a decrepit hobo or a very attractive woman - it's actually more fun with goodlooking young women who paralyze the men they speak to.
Person: Can I ask you a question?
Me: You already did.
Person: (giggle, sometimes nervous) Can I ask you another question?
Me: We're going to be here all day!
;-)
Yep! ;-)
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