Posted on 09/01/2005 12:11:00 PM PDT by pissant
Anyone who spends a few months lurking around FR will quickly recognize the diversity of talents and personality types that make up this group we call freepers. Since song threads tend to be so popular, I thought it only appropriate that we have a Freeper Karaoke Night to showcase those personalities.
Below are the Songs I think are most appropriate for our beloved fellow freepers to warble!
Top 10 Songs that Freepers Should Sing
10. Hell in a Bucket - Grateful Dead sung by Willie Green
9. I Love it When You Call Me Names - Joan Armatrading sung by Jersey Republican Biker Chick
8. Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top as sung by Mr. Jeeves
7. I Honestly Love You - Olivia Newton John as sung by Dashing Dasher to Pissant
6. Halfbreed - Cher as sung by Teenyelliott
5. I'm a Loser - Beatles as sung by Argh
4. Where Have all the Flowers Gone - Peter, Paul and Mary as sung by Peacebaby
3. Dancing on the Ceiling - Lionel Ritchie as sung by F16 Fighter
2. I Touch Myself - DiVinyls as sung by Najida
1. White Punks on Dope - The Tubes as sung by Darksheare
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream. About me. About you. The way our American hearts beat down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know.
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nic hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(Oh no) No Way (Uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
(Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
Naaaah!
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
[Spoken]
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado convertible, hot pink with whaleskin hub caps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115mph getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder cheese burgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam container right out the side and there ain't a God damned thing anybody can do about it. YOu know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why.
[Spoken]
Two words. Nuclear fucking weapons, okay?! Russia, Germany, Romania - they can have all the Democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right through the middle of Tiananmen square and it won't make a lick of difference because we've got the bombs, okay?! John Wayne's not dead - he's frozen. And as soon as we find the cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiple that by 15-million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes...
(Hey)
and Lee Marvin
(Hey)
and Sam Pekinpah
(Hey)
And a case of Whiskey and drive down to Texas...
(Hey, you know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song pal!
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E
[Barking]
Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf
Fung achng tum a fung tum a fling chum
Oooh Oooh
[Spoken]
I'm an asshole and proud of it!
Who knows - he talks alot of smack.
Welcome.
okers.
See you when the all clear is sounded.
I'm singing it. Can you hear me?
I goota run. Loosen up your vocal chords and sing to me later.
I meant you singing it, silly.
He's pretty wierd, too.
lovable but wierd
Dunno who should sing this one, but...
Alice In Chains - Got Me Wrong
Yeah, it goes away
All of this and more of nothing in my life
No color clay
Individuality not safe
As of now I bet you got me wrong
So unsure you run from something strong
I can't let go
Threadbare tapestry unwinding slow
Feel a tortured brain
Show your belly like you want me to
As of now I bet you got me wrong
So unsure you run from something strong
I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
That don't last forever
Something's gotta turn out right
You sugar taste
Sweetness doesn't often touch my face
Stay if you please
You may not be here when I leave
As of now I bet you got me wrong
So unsure we reach for something strong
I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
Strong, I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
That don't last forever
Something's gotta turn out right
I think I may get in trouble for posting those lyrics.....NO ONE better tell on me!!!
Oh, I'd second that one!
Love Stinks -- The J. Geils Band
You love her, but she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes till the day you die
This thing they call love is gonna make you cry
I've had the blues, the reds, and the pinks
One thing's for sure
Love stinks
(Chorus) Love stinks, yeah yeah
Love stinks, yeah yeah
Love stinks, yeah yeah
Love stinks, yeah yeah
Two-by-two and side-by-side
Love's gonna find you, yes it is
You just can't hide
You'll hear it call your heart will fall
Then love will fly, it's gone that's all
I don't care for any things
All I can say is
Love stinks
(Chorus)
I've been through diamonds
And I've been through minks
I've been through it all
Love stinks
(Chorus)
(Chorus)
LOL
Well, I'd give it a shot if I didn't sound like someone had just stuck my hand in a high speed blender when I try to sing.
Hmmmmm, I'll pass. I'll jump in on the next one, promise.
I wanna hear Christy Lane sing Dead Babies, by Alice Cooper.
You got 50 minutes, bub. Start singin'!
Due to all the flack you take from others questioning your "femaleness"....may I suggest this song?
Artist: King Missile
Song: Detatchable Penis
Lyrics :
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.