Posted on 08/13/2005 11:09:44 AM PDT by Flyer
Looking for three professional buisnessmen (or women) to drive across the country, in the deceased author's 96 Pontiac Sunfire, with toilet seats on their heads, from September 2005 until August 2006. Job entails dressing professionally and handing out toilet paper to interested residents, visiting rest areas, hospitals and major attractions, in order to tell people about the benefits of reading Toilet: The Novel.
Full Time: 100,000.00 dollar salarly upon completion of an all expense paid road trip that will visit every major city in the U.S. and Canada, not to mention the experience of a lifetime that will 'suck the marrow out of life'.
Part time positions in individual cities: Job will pay 100 dollars, or 20 dollars an hour, for one afternoon's worth of toilet papered work.
Job Requirements:
Bachelor, M.A. preferred, however equivalent autodictat experience with the classics and philosophy can be substituted for a sham degree that is more a privelege of financial position than potential.
A knowledge of Toilet: The Novel is essential, and just as some interviewers would be impressed by a citation of Shakespeare, so too will the interviewer for this position be impressed by a citation from the Intermission, or subsequent Act II, of Toilet: The Novel.
A knowledge of Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics, Herodotus' Histories, Lucretius' On the Nature of the Universe, the complete works of Horace, Juvenal, Ovid, Cicero and Seneca, as well as an in-depth knowledge of Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Montaigne, Franz Kafka, Herman Hesse, T.S. Eliot and Existentialism, is required for this position.
Applicants who know the difference between Austria and Australia, will be preferred, as well as applicants who are bi or tri-lingual.
Toilet: The Novel is an Equal Opportunity Employer, so if you, by any means, feel yourself worthless in regards to the qualifications, but feel you have the passion and potential for this job, as well as a desire to live, learn and experience the full range of life, then by all means:
Send your cover letter and resume to toiletthenovel@aol.com
"es sind Schatten, die vor einem blindeten Spiegel umarmen." -Trakl
Applicants considered for the job will be contacted in late August for the position.
For more info on the job visit: www.toiletthenovel.com
* Job location is Houston, USA * Compensation: 100,000.00 + expenses and benefits * This is a contract job.
This one is just for you. . .
Ping. . .
To pee or not to pee. That is the question.
Oh for the love of mike. How do these people get published?
This Craig guy is starting to get on my nerves.
I'd do it.
But I'd insist on full payment up front.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.