Resty, I finally had an appointment with a counselor today at our huge medical mental health community center. I knew I was depressed, but I have every reason to be so. My problem is that my panic attacks have come back during this stress. Gawd, little did I know that I would get a cross between Dr Laura and a divorce lawyer. I like her style. After a brief discussion of my childhood, she actually asked "and what hit the fan in your nineteen year marriage to cause your separation"? So, I told her of the problem of his wanting to talk to and contact hot babes on the internet and call them on his cell phone, even if I objected. My word, she told me that if he needed that to bolster his ego, it wasn't my problem. She said that I was appropriately depressed and not clinically, but that I needed to see a physician for medication tranquilizers that I had taken over twenty years ago.
But the most amazing part of my hour was the advice she gave me to just ride this out and not file for divorce as he would probably be crawling home to security as soon as one of the hot babes hurt him. I told her that that would probably not happen. She then said that if there was a divorce, that I should take all steps to not get beaten down in financial settlements. She told me to keep my head high and have some fun.
I left with my head reeling, but feeling much better about myself.
Mine started during the formative years, which continue to be reinforced until I left left home, at which I guess I continued the dialogue in my head and now at this time of my life I can finally discerned it.
So on one hand I can intellectually understand it, for now I have little control, looking forward when I receive my disability insurance, I will be able to recognized and strengthen my weaknesses..
I have precious gifts yet to manifest before I leave this earth...
Those therapy sessions are necessary to be able to function and to steady the course!
I have recognized how much my ability to post have improved greatly since I started to post years ago...
I am not as anxious and can slow down there were days I could only post and not be bother with taking my time...there was always this turmoil going on
There were days I was so hyper I could not focus to proof read or the ability to sound out a word!
I still have off days but not as sever as I was in 1997 when I first started posting on the net!
Dr Phil would always say to a nagging wife or even a controling husband....
HOW EASY ARE YOU TO LIVE WITH?
Council is good for it helps us to examine our deportment!
Hang in there CB...
... and I think what your therapist encourage to ride it out is good advice...
Sounds like sage advice.