I played soccer as a kid and liked it. That said, soccer gets a bad rap because of the way in which children are being forced to play it: nicely, liberally. By this, I mean the NUMEROUS parents who coach soccer or have something to do with the weekend games. What happens is this: one team is doing great, its kicking the pants off the other team. All the sudden, the coach of the winning team starts telling his kids, "Pass 5 times per goal..." The intent of this is to curb the point spread so as not to hurt the feelings of the losing team. What a bunch of crap. And I know, pro soccer isn't like this at all. But middle America doesn't want their kids being told they have to lose to be winners - and I agree. There's a really funny King of The Hill episode that talks about all of this.
That said, pro soccer is everything you said it was.
In our league, the reason the "four passes before shooting" thing comes up is because there's a STUPID rule that a blowout, however they define it, results in a tie game in the standings.
That is just DUMB!!!