I can say from personal experience that living together before marriage prepares you for precisely NOTHING. We knew we were going to get married, and we had already made the emotional commitment...to a limited degree, as it turned out, but we didn't know it at the time. A legal and religiously valid marriage changes the relationship, I don't care how long you live together (or how long the "experiment" lasts), it's not the same. I can't explain it, but it's not the same.
I'm not here to bash anybody. I just happen to disagree with the premise that living together prepares couples for real marriage. You can learn to "live with" somebody by having a college roommate. Marriage is a whole 'nother level.
So, I don't recommend living together before marriage; yes, for religious reasons, but not the kind most people think of. Christian teachings have a practical side to them, you know. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and that's the reason He wants us to do some things and not to do others. It's just not practical. And don't think I'm bitter about it or anything. This year will see our 12th wedding anniversary, and we're still going strong. I just think living together beforehand didn't prove anything, and could have (and should have) been entirely dispensed with.
Thanks for introducing a thought-out, non-aggressive opinion into this debate. I understand where you're coming from. I'd have to say that my wife and I too had already formed the majority of the emotional connections that prepared us for marriage before we moved in together.
Of course, my wife suffers from BPD, so our situation was slightly different, as it was partially a test to make sure our bond would survive the instability that comes with BPD.
I can say from personal experience that living together before marriage prepares you for precisely NOTHING. We knew we were going to get married, and we had already made the emotional commitment...to a limited degree, as it turned out, but we didn't know it at the time. A legal and religiously valid marriage changes the relationship, I don't care how long you live together (or how long the "experiment" lasts), it's not the same. I can't explain it, but it's not the same
Many people say the same. It think marriage turns the relationship from a loooooong date to a cauldron of emotions. Marriage is about forever, passion and trust. Not aboaut splitting the rent or putting downt the toilet seat.