"You want to drink one of the three major beer brands, yet luckily aren't burdened by any concerns of how beer tastes. Commercials have a hypnotic effect on you; additionally, you find Cedric the Entertainer to be very hilarious. There is also a large chance that you are from St. Louis or surrounding areas, and thus have a blind allegiance to all Anheuser-Busch products; an allegiance that is only enhanced by the Jumbo cups of beer served at Cardinals games."
Sorry for the error!!!!
"You want to drink one of the three major beer brands, yet luckily aren't burdened by any concerns of how beer tastes..."
Bingo