Posted on 07/29/2005 7:51:34 AM PDT by pissant
Keystone Light
You need 30 beers in one package but you only have $10. Also, for some reason you need to get drunk. There is a slight possibility that your taste buds were destroyed in some horrible accident during your days as a fire breather with a traveling freak show, enabling you to consume many Keystones without making a horrifed, disgusted face every time you swallow.
Bud Light
You need 30 beers in one package but you only have $10. Also, for some reason you need to get drunk. There is a slight possibility that your taste buds were destroyed in some horrible accident during your days as a fire breather with a traveling freak show, enabling you to consume many Keystones without making a horrifed, disgusted face every time you swallow.
Original Coors
You have never met me, because I don't know anyone who drinks this beer. I imagine, though, that you are some sort of mountain man with a scruffy beard who could use refreshment after spending weeks in the Rockies distancing himself from the trivialities of the modern world.
Corona Extra
You are married, live in the suburbs and are having friends over for a barbecue. There is also a chance that you really enjoy limes, but are having a difficult time working them into your diet. Small things amuse you and you enjoy watching the lime fizzle in the bottle after you stick your finger in and turn it upside down to achieve maximum limey pleasure.
Stag
Your stomach did something to make you angry and now you are returning the favor. You enjoy spending time on the toilet and will do it often for about three days if you drink a six pack of this beer-flavored laxative. Hunting is probably one of your hobbies and the red deer on the gold can is understandably difficult to pass up. Also, you may have lost a bet or are blind and could not tell which beer you were purchasing.
Guinness
You consider yourself something of a serious beer connoisseur. Undoubtedly you enjoy the occasional cup of coffee, as your choice of beer has a similar taste. When at a pub you like to partake in this brand because the foam on the top provides the opportunity for you to get a foam mustache and show your friends how funny you look. If you drink this beer regularly, you most likely claim some degree of Irish heritage. In all likelihood there was/is a "Guinness is Good For You" sign in your dorm/fraternity room/apartment.
Old Style (better known as Doggy Style)
You are at Wrigley Field watching the Cubs. There is no other excuse to drink this.
Michelob Ultra
You desire to be fit and attractive very much, but are unwilling to give up things—like beer drinking—that are necessary to achieve this goal. The word "carbs" was an important part of your vocabulary during the low carbs craze, but you are not really sure what the benefits of cutting carbs out of your diet might be. However, to be safe, you will drink a beer that claims to be low in carbs.
"Hoppin' Gator. "
Gosh, I'd almost forgotten that one!
Don't know where it is? Sorry
Is it just me, or are FReepers the beer-drinking-est, cat-owning-est, steak-eating-est, bunch of people I know?
Cheers! Looks like you were "lured" out of your hole by beer, huh? ;)
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
"In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
-Cliff Claven
Blecchhh! Yuck! Eeeewwww....
(Bad memories...LOL)
I knew you would be.
How about Duff?
Amen on that.
Where is the OFST?
A certain relative of mine has a taste for PBR. He and his buddy go fishing (think big boat off Alaska) and load the beer using a palette and a fork lift.
I used to get those from Rolling Rock too. I currently drink Labatt unless I am drinking at home in which case I drink Hoffsbrau(sp?) lager from Munich.
You are the second person who asked me that. I don't know.
Fierce, you know? Maybe "B" is out drinking Beer!!
Where's the Natural Light?
"What about Killians"
Coors product. No Coors in my house. Except their first album. The Corrs I mean. Coors Bad. Corrs Good.
TheBigB deosn't drink. I don't know where it is, I keep looking too.
Says you're a hockey player. Got a couple of missing teeth. Are more concerned with the edges on your skates than the tread wear on your car tires.
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