Nature of Friendship Among Women Explored

Wisconsin State Journal ^ | July 9, 2005 | Jay Rath

[Larry Lucido]

...."do we want to risk screwing up a good friendship?" dilemma.

That's always a chance I've been willing to take. :-)

[najida]

Oh, that's when we give the secret handshake and discuss world domination.

Plus, we all exchange ideas on what drives you guys crazy the quickest ;)

[Dashing Dasher]

That's always a chance I've been willing to take. :-)

LOL!!!

me too

[Dashing Dasher]

Pinging the Gang...

Have your say....

[Dashing Dasher]

You and I are alot alike.

My closest friends today are mostly guys. In fact, many are married guys - and their wives are a-okay with it. Not sure I should take that as a compliment!?

I don't go shopping - I buy stuff.
I don't gossip - but I know where all the "bodies are buried".
I don't act "catty" - if I like you - you'll know and vice versa.

I am very independent and that scares the boys in my neighborhood. I find there are a lot of men in my past who have wanted to "tame me". While they liked me for all of my qualities before we dated - they tried to turn me into June Cleaver. That's never going to work.

[PaulaB]

I agree with SilentServiceCPOWife ....women have to be very careful with what is said to another female friend. I also confide all me deep dark secrets to my sister.

When my husband was in the Army ..I really built a couple of strong female friendships..when you are in the military it's a double edged sword I think for one you need friends for when the hubby deploys or you feel like your on a deserted Island all alone but then some military wives are really screwed up and can hurt your marriage. Once we got into the civilian world we no longer had to rely so much on other people...I miss it but I don't miss the drama.....

[SilentServiceCPOWife]

As a military wife myself, I understand exactly what you're saying.

There seems to be a common theme in threads like this. It appears that a lot of conservative women feel more comfortable with men than they do other women. I haven't figured out why that is, but I find it interesting.

[pax_et_bonum]

I get along well with men, too, but I also have many long-term, close and loyal women friends.

The trick is choosing women who are balanced personalities and not the type of women who I call 'hormonal.'

;-)

It's this 'hormonal' type who live their lives on an emotional roller-coaster, who tend to be jealous of other women and who play all of those infuriating mental games.

I've never gotten along with 'hormonal' women except at a distance, and, thankfully, they tend to avoid me, too.

:-)

[Dashing Dasher]

I find that conjuring up drama comes from not enough to do.
Idle hands = devil's workshop theory.

People who are busy and dedicated don't gossip - they don't have the time or inclination. People who are under appreciated and under used use gossip as a means to increase their importance.

IMHO

[PaulaB]

So true...

My father always taught me to pull my boot straps up and answer for myself. My mother tends to be a drama queen left over long blond hair hippy chick from the 60's....she has become more conservative but still loves to complain...

I ran from that kind of personalty and vowed I would NEVER be that way!!!! Thus the influence from my father prevailed. :)

[conservativebabe]

I have found that the older one gets, the smaller the circle of friends gets. Perhaps because with life responsibilities, we tend to value our time more, and only spend it with those whom we truly value and share common things. I don't want to waste time on the superficial.

Friendship is a two-way street. You have to give and recieve. If you don't recieve anything in return, it's time to cut your losses and move on.

I have always found the company of men comfortable also. I do think they are less judgemental, and if you can get past them wanting to sleep with you, are quite capable friends. ;)

[SilentServiceCPOWife]

Besides the hippy chick thing, it sounds like your mother and my mother have a lot in common. My mother is also a drama queen and she is very needy and demanding. Like you, I swore I would never be that way and so far I've been successful.

I've also told my husband to shoot me and put me out of his misery if I ever start sounding like her. :-)

(Don't get me wrong. I love my Mom, but she's very difficult to deal with sometimes.)

[PaulaB]

LOLOL I have said those very words to mine. :) My mother always says You and your sister are such strong independent women..I'm glad I taught you girls that I'm thinking mom are you serious? Out of love and respect I say nothing.

[SilentServiceCPOWife]

Is your Mom manipulative? Mine is and that's why I dislike it when I see that trait in other women.

I also have to say that I've met some great women on FR. It's nice to finally meet some women who don't play games and speak their minds.

[PaulaB]

Yes very...she has been working on it over the years (thankfully.)

I don't get that mind set and am also thankful for finding women to talk to on FR....I'm not perfect and may not always state something clearly but I will answer for myself and like an adult woman apologize when I am in the wrong.

What you see is what you get and some can't and don't get it or want it :)

[colorcountry]

My mother was the opposite. She was manager of an auto parts store and she hunted and fished for hobbies. She was very strong-willed and beautiful, and as a result had very few women friends.

I wanted to grow-up to be just like her. One thing we have in common is few women friends. I have 4 close friends, all from different periods of my life. I lose track of them, then reconnect. These are very special people...I have been very blessed. Sometimes, less is more.

[PaulaB]

You are blessed....and thats the kind of mother I try to be for my boys..someday I want them to tell their wives

Our mom was amazing..yes she cooked and cleaned and kept us in line but she also taught us to be truthful and shoot a gun properly while killing spiders and snakes while folding clothes...
:O)

[mlmr]

Lost an Old Friend Today. Politics and the Personal



http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1287896/posts


I know this up close and personal.

[Mr. Jeeves]

It appears that a lot of conservative women feel more comfortable with men than they do other women. I haven't figured out why that is, but I find it interesting.

Conservative women tend to be "successful", both professionally and in their relationships. It's hard to develop meaningful friendships with other women who resent and envy you, especially liberal women who simply can't accept that their lack of professional and relationship success might be their own fault. ;)

[Auntbee]

I have one close female friend. We have been friends for almost 39 years. We are closer than two of my sisters. I have learned to not trust the women you work with. I have worked with the same four women for 10 years and they ALL will turn on you in an instant. I will say a lot of "close" friends are men. Much better that way. Some women can be devious!!