Eight Words with Two Meanings

StrangeCosmos ^ | 5/05 | staff

[pissant]

This e-mail came to me today. I searched the web to see if I could find the origianl author. Either way, I think its funny:

Eight Words With Two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female: Any part under a car's hood.

Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) ad

Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.

Male: Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

Female: A desire to get married and raise a family

Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

Female: An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.

Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.

Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male: Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

[SweetCaroline]

FOREPLAY: Female: an integral part of any session of intimacy

Male: Ten minutes of begging and pleading....one grab of the @ss!

[pissant]

Bingo! ;o)

[ken5050]

LOL..but today..that line can be unisex..

[GoldCountryRedneck]

LITERATURE

Female: "A Mid-Summer Nights' Dream"

Male: "Story of O"

[kevkrom]

"Story of O"

I'm partial to the Kama Sutra, myself.

[SweetCaroline]

....not that there is anything wrong with that!

[GoldCountryRedneck]

I'm partial to the Kama Sutra, myself.

I hold a rather favorable position on that one as well...

[carolinacrazy]

then her old man would bust a move on your ass...

I don't do dance offs anymore. Too violent.

[carolinacrazy]

ETERNITY

Female: Forever, never ending.

Male: That time between when you orgasm and she leaves.

[carolinacrazy]

BIG BONED

Female: Fatass

Male: Just a couple more beers

[pissant]

Besides, I quit pawing at Teeny since you got here. ;o)

[pissant]

HILARIOUS....and true

[Publius6961]

Define "stupid"...

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

I don't do dance offs anymore.

Still. I perceive yer missus as one to be "admired" from afar.
2000 miles ought to be good enough.     =;^)

BTW, she's right. You look better with the beard.

[carolinacrazy]

BTW, she's right. You look better with the beard.

Grrrooosss! Are you hitting on me dude?

I appreciate it.

[carolinacrazy]

Besides, I quit pawing at Teeny since you got here. ;o)

No need to quit the pawing. Kinda turns me on man.

[muggs]

That's funny.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Grrrooosss! Are you hitting on me dude?

Too funny. I just got a laugh because your comment reminded me of the latest episode of "Entourage" on HBO.
Don't know if you watch it but if you do, you'll know what I mean when I say, "calves".

[Finger Monkey]

That time between when you orgasm and she leaves

You stole that from my man!!!!

Is it safe to come out of my office yet?

[carolinacrazy]

Is it safe to come out of my office yet?

Not yet.

He stole it from someone else. Kinda how jokes go ya know.