I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up. So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday. And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity.
So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half. Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prices for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Berkowitzes, a maried couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Berkowitzes lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious.
Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Berkowitzes. So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State ... tuesdays, thursdays and especially saturday.
The following morning the Berkowitzes wake up in the woods, in a moose suit. Mr. Berkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted - at the New York Athletic Club,
And the joke is on them, because it's restricted!
LOL! If you fabricated that little yarn, you could have a profitable career as either Hillary Clinton or John Kerry's press agent.
Subject: Trivia For Mature Folks
> 01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful Citizens would ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, Someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." What did he leave behind?_______________________
>
> 02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on the ____________show.
>
> 03. Get your kicks, _______________
>
> 04. The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed ___________
>
> 05. In the jungle, the mighty jungle,_________________________
>
> 06. After the twist, the mashed potato, and the watus! i, we "danced" under stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the_________________
>
> 07. N_E_S_T_L_E_S, Nestle's makes the very best _______________
>
> 08. Satchmo was America's "ambassador of goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was____________
>
> 09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking?_____
>
> 10. Red Skelton's hobo character was ____________________. and he always ended his television show by saying, "Good night, and___________."
>
> 11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam war did so by burning their________________
>
> 12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by?_________! ______&__________
>
> 13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music >died." This was a tribute to ___________________
>
> 14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it; it was called __________
>
> 15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist; it was called the ___________
>