Get drunk before your court appearance, so you will have the upper hand on the judge. Best way ta go...dude
I had a friend to that once. It didn't work out well.
True story. I was still working for a Michigan police agency up until a year and a half ago. Backed up an officer from tiny little Sylvan Lake on a car versus ambulance accident (which was convenient, I suppose, except that the ambulance was already on an emergency run). Seems the car driver wanted to make a left turn from the right lane and was in a bit of a hurry to get whereever drunks need to get, and didn't care to allow the larger vehicle with all the flashing lights to clear the other lane first, and, well, the laws of physics then took over.
Anyway, in addition to exhibiting certain symptoms suggestive of having had a recent cocktail or two, such as smelling of having had a cocktail or three, and feeling a need to be vociferous and to exhale often to drive the point home, our driver presented a license that indicated a birth date that made her all of 79 years old, even though she looked not a day over 49, ravages of alcohol and all. Her math skills gave away the charade.
So, a week later, out on bond, she shows up at her pre-trail in an apparent state of renewed inebriation, which not even Binaca or Menthos could disguise. The judge, suspicious, ordered a breathalyzer, to which her still tardy defense attorney could not object. Result, something like a 0.20 BAC and another 30 days in jail for contempt before her rescheduled pre-trial.