You may be an addict or an alcoholic.
Try NA or AA. It will save your life.
Harry, I don't know you and I don't know if you have a drinking problem or if this was a one-time thing. If you have a drinking problem, please get help. I watched my father-in-law die from cirrhosis and it was an ugly, painful way to go. At the end, he didn't know who his four sons were. He knew that he was going to die and he still wouldn't stop drinking. The bottle mattered more to him than his children and grandchildren or his own life.
Several years ago a friend of mine was involved in a bar fight. Not much of a fight, he only hit the other guy twice.
The fix was in. He was to get a fine and probation. The Judge told him that he could understand one punch thrown in anger but why did you hit him a second time?
My friends reply? "He was still twitchin' your honor".
My friend spent two weeks in the county lock up for that remark.
It doesn't pay to piss off a judge.
About the only thing a judge CAN'T do to you is shoot you on the spot.
Don't be an idiot. Keep your tongue. Inside a courtroom a judge can fudge you up and make things worlds worse for you. Behave.
You're in enough trouble. Keep your mouth closed.
"Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement".
Bring a bottle to court and a couple of joints too to mellow out the day. Drink openly. See if anyone wants to share the joints. Tell him whatever is on your mind and nothing will happen. It's right there in the constitution.