Posted on 05/17/2005 11:13:14 AM PDT by pissant
LEAVING a wet towel on the bathroom floor may seem a minor issue but it could be a ticking timebomb when it comes to relationships, scientists have warned.
New research in the United States has identified a list of the most annoying habits that can cause rifts between couples.
Minor irritations in domestic life can mean that people become "allergic" to a partner’s foibles. These may include such crimes as laughing at one’s own jokes or fiddling with the pre-set controls of the car stereo.
Among the most annoying habits are failing to hang up towels, leaving a new loo roll on top of the empty one and using a fork as a backscratcher. Cringe-inducing endearments such as "babykins" also can cause an adverse reaction when aired in public.
When behaviour is repeated, a couple can reach breaking point, said Michael Cunningham, who led the research.
"The basic notion that things become more irksome over time has never been looked at before," he said. "Relatively minor, unpleasant behaviours appear to affect a partner’s emotions in a way that resembles how physical allergens function. The first experience is likely to produce a small negative reaction, but repeated contact increases sensitivity.
"Wet towels on the bathroom floor cause mild irritation. But the reaction gets stronger each time it happens. Through repeated exposure it may produce a social allergy — a reaction of hypersensitive annoyance or disgust."
Many of the habits detailed in the study - published in the academic journal Personal Relationships - are the obvious areas of conflict within relationships.
They include nose-picking, burping and tatty clothes in men, and lateness, verbosity and demands for reassurance about clothing in women.
The study, funded by the US government’s health research arm and conducted in the department of communications at Louisville University, Kentucky, charted the grim "deromanticisation" of more than 160 people’s relationships.
It also compared what was termed "social allergen frequency" (nasty habits), with relationship satisfaction and failure in a further 274 people.
The resulting report, Social Allergies in Romantic Relationships, aims to establish the nature of the link between nasty habits and nasty divorce, though some of the issues raised will provide bored couples with a new range of things to complain about.
It highlights the irritation caused by fabricating anecdotes to enliven dinner parties and the reading of e-mails while holding a conversation about the mortgage.
The researchers suggested women were also more likely to complain about uncouth behaviour and "norm violations", such as drunkenness or flatulence, while men would withdraw and eventually leave.
British researchers agree that childish bickering is common to relationships. It is when there are underlying problems that the minor irritations take on unmanageable proportions.
Denise Knowles, a relationship counsellor with the charity Relate, said: "Minor niggles can seem trivial, but if they are left unchecked they can cause problems. We have so many couples saying to us they argue over everything and nothing. Communication is the key. If a minor habit causes bother, it should be no big deal to change it."
STOP DOING IT!
A NUMBER of dangerous niggles for relationships have been identified:
• Fabricating anecdotes in a desperate effort to liven up a dinner party.
• Using cringe-making terms of endearment such as ‘babykins’ in public.
• Displaying fear during horror films (if male) - this is a turn-off for women.
• Racking up excess luggage charges by going over the top with holiday packing.
• Making a partner spend far longer than they want to on shopping trips.
• Laughing at your own jokes, oblivious to the fact that no-one else is.
• Complaining about partner’s clothes.
• Changing preset controls on the car stereo.
• Tipping clutter from coffee table on to floor to make way for TV dinner.
• Failing to replace loo roll when it is finished.
• Leaving wet towels around.
• Scattering clothes about the bedroom.
• Reading e-mails while claiming to be conducting an important discussion about the mortgage or similar subject.
• Using a fork as a backscratcher.
• Nose-picking.
• Burping.
• Clipping toe-nails, even if newspaper is spread on floor to catch clippings.
• Wearing tatty clothing.
• Getting drunk despite lack of any obvious excuse.
• Failing to control flatulence.
• Being late.
• Asking for explanations of TV dramas, causing partner to miss plot twist.
• Obtaining reassurance about clothing, then changing it anyway.
• Making any attempt to complain about any of the above.
LOL!
In men? What if this is the woman?
I HATE it when someone does that to me!
Guys don't mind it when women do that as much. We understand.
tatty & skimpy is OK then
Uh, yeah. Completely unexamined. It's only the plot of every single freaking sitcom in the history of the world.
I find it bothersome when my wife won't explain the movie to me.
Then don't come shopping with me. If you can't stand the heat, stay outta the Bed, Bath and Beyond.
• Changing preset controls on the car stereo.
Try it and draw back a nub.
• Getting drunk despite lack of any obvious excuse.
Once and a while is OK, but on a regular basis is bad. If you're a mean drunk, it's even worse.
Everything you need to know was covered in I Love Lucy!
I love studies that tell us what we know.
Good use of money.
Especially during the climactic scenes...
LOL! You only get one shot at THAT one:):)
LOL. You're funny!
what about an amorous drunk
Pissant, do you think Michael Jackson left a wet nose on the bathroom floor? That would probably kill a romance, too....
Indeed. When all they need to do is ask the expert, Pissant!
"Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers." -- Robert A. Heinlein
LOL
What kind of wife makes you a TV dinner anyhow?
Could have. Though his idea of romance is a thought to unpleasant to contemplate!
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