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1 posted on 05/11/2005 3:12:14 PM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: LibWhacker
Lawmakers object to fake penis for drug tests

They hate the way it tastes.

2 posted on 05/11/2005 3:13:30 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: LibWhacker

More war on drugs nonsense.


3 posted on 05/11/2005 3:14:25 PM PDT by rhombus
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To: LibWhacker
Lawmakers object to fake penis for drug tests

Ya think? I guess the first clue was the sound of plastic hitting the glass. Or the ice cold... Hmmmmmmm...............

5 posted on 05/11/2005 3:14:45 PM PDT by Jaded (Hell sometimes has flourescent lighting and a trumpet.)
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To: LibWhacker

"A life-like prosthetic penis called the Whizzinator..."

What an opening line, LoL


6 posted on 05/11/2005 3:15:07 PM PDT by nuconvert (No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
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To: LibWhacker
The owners were required to provide financial and operational records by Monday and to appear at a congressional hearing on Tuesday.

I bet the media is all over this one. Pixelated footage anyone?

7 posted on 05/11/2005 3:15:23 PM PDT by konaice
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To: LibWhacker

Of course, this is all from that august body that wouldn't dream of passing legislation requiring drug testing of its members.


9 posted on 05/11/2005 3:16:58 PM PDT by Wolfie
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To: LibWhacker

I'll hold my opinion until Barney Frank weighs in.


10 posted on 05/11/2005 3:17:15 PM PDT by auboy
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To: LibWhacker

Drug tests are unconstitutional - they violate the Fourth Amendment, and I don't care what the Supremos have to say about it either. I can read as well as they can.


12 posted on 05/11/2005 3:18:00 PM PDT by microgood
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To: LibWhacker

Most people use these products because of weed. I dont know why, they dont work and never will. The only way to remove THC from positive testing levels is to burn fat. The people using these products are getting a double whammy-losing their money and their jobs..


13 posted on 05/11/2005 3:19:09 PM PDT by cardinal4 (Newly Discovered breed of Cephalopod - Billius Fristus)
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To: LibWhacker

Remember: If fake urinating penises are outlawed, only outlaws will have fake urinating penises.


15 posted on 05/11/2005 3:20:16 PM PDT by Celtjew Libertarian (Shake Hands with the Serpent: Poetry by Charles Lipsig aka Celtjew http://books.lulu.com/lipsig)
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To: LibWhacker
I could have used this at the MEPS in Atlanta, with 2 females watching me. Hey, baby, taste any drugs here?

Of course, I probably wouldn't have been allowed on the bus to Parris Island after that...

22 posted on 05/11/2005 4:12:13 PM PDT by real saxophonist (Jane Fonda might as well make her gravestone a urinal. Semper Fi)
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To: LibWhacker
(I'll lower myself once - ONCE I tell you...) They have a guarantee as well as -

INSTRUCTIONS

The Whizzinator is very simple. It is essential, however, that you have a complete understanding of its operation. Please read these instructions very carefully and then PRACTICE!

Put about 80 cc. of urine into a cup. Draw half up at a time into the syringe and inject it into the bag through the small tube with the screw-on cap. Make sure that the end of the syringe is tight into the tube so that there will not be any leakage. Also, be sure the clip valve (located in the center of the belt, above the prosthesis) is shut. Do not put more than 80 cc. of liquid into the bag. Remove as much air from the bag as possible. When the belt and the bag are worn, it is important that the vinyl bag makes contact with your bare skin in order to absorb body temperature. Your natural body temperature will heat the urine to approximately 92 degrees. It will take about one hour to raise it from room temperature. The heat packs are a supplementary heat source. One heat pack will bring the urine up to 98-100 degrees and will maintain that temperature for at least eight hours. Please note, if you are using the concentrated urine and need the liquid warm quickly, start with warm (100 degrees) water and then mix the concentrate with the water. Open up one heat pack. Apply it to the side of the bag opposite the temperature strip. This locates the heat pack on the side of the bag away from your body. It is important. The LCD temperature strip on the vinyl bag will read two degrees warmer than the actual fluid temperature.

TIP - Peel off only one-half of the backing covering the adhesive on the back of the heat pack. Half the adhesive holds the pack securely and is much easier to remove later. Remember to remove the heat pack after you finish using it. If the adhesive dries for too long, the heat packs are difficult to remove.

As you can see, the elastic straps are adjustable. Any excess length can be taken up by going once around the belt before fastening. Try positioning the belt so that the end of the prosthesis hangs to the end of your own penis. That will make it much easier to find. Our clip valve, which releases the urine can make a slight snap sound when it is opened. Try disguising the sound by clearing your throat or coughing as you open it. To operate The Whizzinator, hold the prosthesis with one hand and pinch it just behind the head to prevent any flow as you open the clip valve with your other hand. Then, take the sample cup, relax the pinch and Whiz. This operation will approximate the natural way that you would urinate into a cup. Remember, practice makes perfect. Using plain water, practice as much as possible. Again, if you use the concentrated urine, mix it with 80 cc. of warm water. It will last in its concentrated state indefinitely, but once it is mixed, it should be used within eight hours. As with real urine, it will begin to grow bacteria after eight hours. The Whizzinator should be cleaned by flushing the vinyl bag out with warm water after each usage. Use the syringe to fill the bag and drain it through the prosthesis several times. Do not use soap to clean the inside of the bag. Good Luck! Give us a call if you have any questions!!

GUARANTEE

Due to the nature of the product, if it has been used in any way misused, there will be no refund. If any of the components of The Whizzinator fail within 30 days, under normal use, the purchaser will be entitled to an exchange of the defective parts. Exchanges can only be made with proof of purchase and must be sent to the address below.

PUCK TECHNOLOGY
2508 N. Palm Dr., Unit 104

Signal Hill, CA 90755
(800) 530-3510

MORE INFORMATION ABOUT SYNTHETIC URINE

The enclosed vial of dehydrated human urine is enough for a standard urine. The contents of the vial will reconstitute with 80 cc.of water, the volume required for one test according to standard guidelines. When reconstituting the urine, approximately 80 cc.of tap water is recommended. Actual measurement of the water is not essential because of the normal variation in urine concentration. This is synthetic human urine and tests within the normal range for human urine when used as directed. You cannot contract any infectious diseases from this product and it does not test positive for any illegal drugs, metabolites or alcohol. DO NOT open the vial until ready for use. This dehydrated urine will absorb moisture from the air causing the contents to clump and slow the dissolving process when it is. This does not adversely affect the test results. This product is stable for one year in the dry form. This urine has been extensively tested by several laboratories using Ames Multistix, EMIT and gas chromatography methods and full spectrum urinalysis methods.

WE RECOMMEND DEHYDRATED URINE IF FULL SPECTRUM URINE TESTING METHODS ARE EMPLOYED.

NOTE: Our supplier highly recommend the use of a urine heating device which will ensure that the urine is delivered at the proper temperature. Temperature of the urine specimen is routinely checked and a cold specimen is grounds for a retest.

The above information has been provided by the manufacturer of our synthetic urine. If you should require any further information, please feel free to call us at any time.

PRIVACY & CONFIDENTIALITY

The Whizzinator understands their customers and provides the ultimate privacy and confidentiality. There is no need to worry about anything when ordering from the Whizzinator. Below listed are just a few of the ways we guarantee your privacy if you have any questions please email/call/write us (see our contact page).

The Whizzinator does not sell or distribute any personal information

The Whizzinator does not sell email addresses

The Whizzinator does not save customer credit card information

All orders come in a discrete plain brown box

All orders are addressed from PUCK TECHNOLOGIES

All purchases will be billed by PUCK TECHNOLOGIES

All correspondence will be from PUCK TECHNOLOGIES

23 posted on 05/11/2005 6:13:19 PM PDT by Libloather (Start Hillary's recount now - just to get it out of the way...)
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