Posted on 04/15/2005 8:30:45 AM PDT by pissant
1. Ask her to dance.
2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.
3. When she’s coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.
4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.
5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.
6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.
7. Call her when you’re feeling sad.
8. Kiss her eyelids.
9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.
10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.
11. If she’s crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.
12. TOO NAUGHTY (ed)
13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.
14. Buy her your favourite rock album of all time on vinyl.
15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.
16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.
17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.
18. Send her something in the mail. Anything.
19. When she’s feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no-one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.
20. Call her just before you get on the plane.
21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.
22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she’s feeling down.
23. Take her to see your favourite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.
24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.
25. Shave just before you see her. She’ll notice.
26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.
27. Worship her breasts.
28. Give her jewellery.
29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)
30. Ask her specific questions about her work.
31. Keep her favourite cereal on hand.
32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.
33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.
34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.
35. TOO SAUCY (ed)
36. Read her a story when it’s her turn to drive during a long road trip.
37. Offer to fix something at her place that you realise is broken.
38. Notice when she’s wearing something new.
39. Make love to her standing up, against a wall.
40. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.
41. If she’s too stressed to want sex... a. Run a bath for her. b. Give her a full-body massage. c. Ask if she wants to wrestle.
Yep. I tend to buy my wife pratical gifts. A new vacuum cleaner, mops, etc...
You goldigging woman!!! Oops, that's redundant!
See!
Now you have a start on a "20 Things Women Should Never Do To a Guy" thread!
Number 1: Be a woman, not a man.
That's good that you're saving money like that on inexpensive gifts. You're going to need it for the alimony payments.
Women prefer women???
so what's number 12 and 35.
Well I tried the lingerie thing, but I think the moths have eaten it....
http://www.john-ross.net/abby.htm
http://www.john-ross.net/advice.htm
and
http://www.john-ross.net/men.htm
You will enjoy reading John Ross. He's like Fred Reed, but with better manners and a brighter outlook.
click on the Women24 in the title. I thought maybe somebody hacked the article after reading those!!
That's it. You can cuddle, kiss, lay your head on our shoulder and take a nap...whatever you want. Just don't try to talk, especially about anything "serious".
The problem is, 95% of women who tried honestly to carry out this directive would explode by the third quarter. ;)
Darn, I knew something was fishy! LOL
Talk to juggernaut, he knows firsthand!
They need to be cooking a great meal in the kitchen while you watch he game with your drinking buddies, and oggle the women in the beer commercials!!
Boy is he in for a suprise after the nupitals!!!
How did I know you would be the poster of this?!?
This should be good....
You're psycho, err....I mean psychic??
So is "Ask her to pull your finger".
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