Posted on 04/15/2005 8:30:45 AM PDT by pissant
1. Ask her to dance.
2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.
3. When she’s coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.
4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.
5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.
6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.
7. Call her when you’re feeling sad.
8. Kiss her eyelids.
9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.
10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.
11. If she’s crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.
12. TOO NAUGHTY (ed)
13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.
14. Buy her your favourite rock album of all time on vinyl.
15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.
16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.
17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.
18. Send her something in the mail. Anything.
19. When she’s feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no-one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.
20. Call her just before you get on the plane.
21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.
22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she’s feeling down.
23. Take her to see your favourite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.
24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.
25. Shave just before you see her. She’ll notice.
26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.
27. Worship her breasts.
28. Give her jewellery.
29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)
30. Ask her specific questions about her work.
31. Keep her favourite cereal on hand.
32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.
33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.
34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.
35. TOO SAUCY (ed)
36. Read her a story when it’s her turn to drive during a long road trip.
37. Offer to fix something at her place that you realise is broken.
38. Notice when she’s wearing something new.
39. Make love to her standing up, against a wall.
40. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.
41. If she’s too stressed to want sex... a. Run a bath for her. b. Give her a full-body massage. c. Ask if she wants to wrestle.
If you only knew the serious job I had, you'd understand!
Or pretend to listen. I'm good at that.
My beloved has been known to hit the roof upon coming home to find that I have used three of the four ingredients she had purchased with a specific meal in mind only to create some OTHER entree that wasn't on her menu, and grubbied up her kitchen in the process.
The other day she started to pick a fight with me because I hadn't lifted a finger to start lunch after we'd come home from church. That led to quite a vigorous discussion.
you mean you are just a boy?
Thankfully after 12 years of marriage to a wonderful husband....I can say that most things on this list are part of our relationship and are reciprocal.
Get busy, boy.
Mrs. Rightly Biased always knows when I pretend. about anything.
I'll use the "special" brush!
So many things to please a woman, whereas there is only thing for a man - keep his plate full.
That's good to know. He's a real casanova.
and the "monicas" coming...
Man, this came close to making me puke...literally.
Whoever wrote this is obviously not married or is melting another woman's heart.
I would like to see a Muslim version of this.
70 ways to melt a womans heart.
1. Allow her to walk past window without burka
2. After she feeds goats grunt in approval.
3. Reduce number of lashes by one half in honor of her birthday.
4. Grant her request to go to the bathroom
5. Suggest that she would be richly rewarded for blowing herself up on bus.
6. Call her your little "71st virgin" then plow into her like a herd of wild lamas.
7. if you're still reading after 6 I worry about you
8. Have her take flying lessons.
I'm done...peace out homies!
1. Show up naked...
2. ...with snacks...
3. ...and beer.
We can sorta like the other stuff, but it's only food, drink, and [censored] that we really deep-down care about...
time to convert??
ROFL!
You guys only think you get away with it.
There is a huge difference between the "I'm listening, Dear" look and the "Would she just get done so I can get back to the game" look.
Your eyes always glaze over!!
The first one became physically and verbally abusive and the second one got brainwashed by her feminist friends.
NEVER TALK DURING A GAME. Unless you're asking what the score is.
Yeah, nothing says I love you more than giving a gift that you want.
did she leave you for a womyn?
The way to win my heart is through Mastercard/Visa.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.