Rooney: 'I'm Glad Pope's Death Took Terri Off The Front Page'

60 Minutes | April 10, 2005 | L.N. Smithee

[L.N. Smithee]

Tonight on 60 Minutes, Andy Rooney's monologue was on the coverage of the death of Pope John Paul II.

Rooney had newspapers from all over the globe strewn across his desk with essentially the same photograph of the Pontiff lying in state. He prattled on about the different angles of the pictures -- how some of them shot from the side, some from the bottom, how he only wore the red cape now that he had died, and was wearing brown shoes. He commented on how similar the Swiss language looked like German on the printed page. He mentioned how people who didn't share his beliefs were respectful to him nonetheless.

Then, Rooney does what Rooney does -- he put his foot in his mouth. I wasn't taping it, so I can't quote him verbatim, but he said something about how it's good that the story is winding down because people have had enough of it. And he added, 'At least this kept Terri Schiavo off the front page. We didn't need any more of that!'

I said, "Yeah, you jackass, the Pope knocked her off the front page. Sorry she couldn't die any sooner for you!"

[Miss Behave]

"Sadly there are more arses just like him. The spec ed teacher's aide here said much the same in class right in front of the children."

Unbelievable. Dear Lord.

[STARWISE]

THOSE OF US WHO ARE SICKENED AT THIS FOOL'S CRUDE COMMENTS MAY WANT TO LET 60 MINUTES KNOW:

EMAIL: 60m@cbsnews.com

PHONE: (212) 975-3247

[Goodgirlinred]

No, thanks. I will do them myself before I die. That will be the last thing on my list just before I say my final prayers. ;)

[GeekDejure]

Oak Hay... you just knocked $100 off your funeral expenses.

You go, girl !!! ;-))

[weegee]

Andy Rooney appears to be an atheist (from his "I don't know of God" comment when he was recently asked to swear an oath as he took the stand.

What do expect someone ignorant of religion to remark on when covering the death of a Pope? Especially a person who played a role in the downfall of Eastern Bloc communism?

[Goodgirlinred]

LOL! Anything to save some money! Now if I could just do that well when I walk into Wal-Mart. Gee, and big department stores. Those women who wait on me in big department stores know how to press my buttons to get me to buy, buy, buy. I can't say no because they make me feel like I am supposed to buy what they tell me to buy.:(

[PhilDragoo]

Your contact data allows us to remind CBS-Al Jazeera the difference between Andy Rooney and a bag of dog waste is the bag.

[Miss Behave]

I think you make some very good points.

[GeekDejure]

Those women who wait on me in big department stores know how to press my buttons to get me to buy, buy, buy.
=======
You need to develop an adventuresome spirit. When those women come to wait on you, you need to cry out:

"Stop Stop, don't come any closer. My niece just returned from Angola, where she was fighting the killer Marburg virus. But she got infected, then came home and died in my arms this morning... AND NOW I'M INFECTED TOO!"

Then look at your watch and see how long it takes for them to change their words from Buy, Buy, Buy... to Bye Bye... Zippppppppp !!! ;-))

[anonymoussierra]

This person"Rooney" is total evil!!!My good G-D help this person!!!Be not afraid be strong!!!! evil is evil good is good life is life!!!!Good G-D is Good G-D!!!thank you all

[L.N. Smithee]

If you want to keep Andy guessing, just speak Swiss. Was he trying to be funny? Just pathetic anyway.

Look Polish, everyone!

Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans will understand.

[Goodgirlinred]

ROFL! That's a good one! Then I can shop peacefully all by myself and pick out what I like and then try very hard to find someone willing to ring up my purchases. Hopefully they won't all be too frightened to take my money. :)

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL! True. :)

[GeekDejure]

Hopefully they won't all be too frightened to take my money. :)
=======
Hey... life's a b!tch... and then you die !!! ;-))

[Victoria Delsoul]

One good thing, stories about Pope John Paul pushed Terri Schiavo off the front page. I mean, we didn't need any more of that.

Sad, this guy is about to kick the bucket, and he doesn't appreciate his last days on earth. He's a mean, spiteful old man.

[jla]

Sad, this guy is about to kick the bucket, and he doesn't appreciate his last days on earth. He's a mean, spiteful old man.

I'd imagine, Victoria, that this is how a lot of non-Believers might become when they knowingly approach their earthly demise.
It is a shame, isn't it?

[Victoria Delsoul]

It sure is, but it makes me mad, too. How heartless and mean this man is.

[Goodgirlinred]

Doggone! You got the last word!!! ;)

[potlatch]

[Saundra Duffy]

I think I am going to throw up. The flip attitude toward Terri's murder is beyond belief. Well, now we know who's who and what's what. Rooney is part of the culture of death brigade.